One of the questions I get asked frequently is how I am able to “do it all”. Well, the simple answer is I DON’T. I don’t do it all. In fact, if I’m being honest, I probably don’t even do half of it all. Are you disappointed?
There are lots of things I should be doing that I’m not, like keeping my toilets spotlessly clean, or painting my basement, or exercising so my bum won’t jiggle, or planting flowers in my front yard, or organizing the drawer full of photographs in my office so my children have a record of their lives. I could go on and on. And then all I would feel is like a big fat failure. There is no way I can do it all, so I just don’t.
Instead, I like to start out with a much smaller goal at the beginning of each day like “I will attempt to take a shower and make myself presentable to the human public.” Believe me, some days my friend Ollie doesn’t want me to accomplish this one simple task.
But yesterday I had a plan of attack. And it went something like this:
- Get baby into bathroom by luring him with a pacifier.
- Then, while he’s happily sucking on the “only-for-naptime” treasure, turn on the shower, quickly undress him and myself.
- Next, in one fell swoop, remove the pacifier and throw the baby into the shower, quickly following him in.
- Scrub him down. Scrub me down.
- Get out and dress while he’s playing in in the leftover water.
- Then – and this is where I’m a genius – instead of dressing him, plop him buck-naked in the tub, hand him a squirt bottle, and let him go to town squirting things while I do my hair and makeup.
Worked like a charm. Here’s the photographic proof:
It actually got really funny towards the end because he was sliding around like a wet eel. Then there was an incident that involved a very quick extraction to avoid contamination – if you get my drift. I guess it turns out I’m not much of a genius after all. Add cleaning the tub to cleaning the toilets. Gaaaa!
And that, my friends, is how I do it all.
Please don’t think you have to to it all. I’m wholly convinced doing it all isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! All you have to do is your best at what you CAN do. That is enough.
Ps. My boy is white!