Still Learning . . .

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you may remember this incident which prompted me to take a stand against a decision made by a teacher which affected my child {and an entire classroom of children}.

When the incident occurred, I remember being a little hesitant about saying anything to the teacher.  I don't love confrontation.  I don't love chastisement.  And I don't love it when people have ill feelings toward me.  I am the classic 'Pleaser', if you will, combined with a little bit of chicken.

When it was all said and done, I knew I had made the right choice, both for my child and myself.  The teacher was apologetic and truly didn't realize the consequences or effects his decision would have on others.

So, it's happened again.  This time, with a coach who decided to berate two players who were required to make a choice between playing on the travel team or in the house league.  Instead of respecting their decision, which did not favor his team, the coach told the other players on several occasions "we'll show them they made the wrong choice".

My child was confused and wondering if we were supposed to be mad at the two players, who were both nice, good people and talented athletes.  I had to explain that we were not mad at them, but maybe the coach was a little upset by their choice.  Still, it was their choice to make and we need to respect it. 

The final straw came when the coach sent a letter home with the players.  The first half of the letter was a complimentary and motivating message to the players about how they've kept their chins up during a tough transition.  But then the coach once again criticized the two players by name and asked the team to decide if they wanted to show the two players what a bad choice they made by scrimmaging the travel team.

The Hubby and I could not sit and watch a grown adult attack two children and foster a toxic environment for our own child.  We wrote a letter to the coach expressing our concern and displeasure for the way things had been handled, explaining to him the confused feelings our child had shared with us.  Then we {read: me} paced and wrung our hands, hoping we hadn't offended him or that he wouldn't take this out on our child.

Last night the coach responded.  And we were impressed.  The coach not only apologized to us but also wrote a message to our child.  He admitted that he had let his resentment about the situation come to the forefront and had forgotten  the example he needed to set for the players on his team.  He did not realize the way he was coming across.  He has also written an email to all the parents of the team, apologizing for his behavior.

I have learned from this experience.  I have learned that whether adult or child, it is important to stand up for what we believe is right and defend those who cannot defend themselves.  And whether adult or child, admitting one's mistakes and offering a heartfelt apology, though never easy to do, can do wonders to right a situation.