August 11, 2009

Faceplant . . .


Ever have days like this? Where no matter what you do, or how hard you try, you just seem to end up face down, nose to the floor, trying unsuccessfully to get back up? It happens to Ollie every day when I give him his requisite "tummy time". And it happened to me yesterday - repeatedly and it went something like this:

12:00 midnight - Start feeling pain on the right side of chest, spend rest of night alternating between nursing and pumping to prevent mastitis, continuing every three hours despite delirium

8:00 AM - Wake to feed starving older children, then feed starving infant child, then immediately collapse in bed from exhaustion

9:45 AM - Wake to sound of phone ringing and voice of friend saying she's bringing dinner over, begin to worry because house is eerily silent which means older children are up to no good, feed starving infant child

11:00 AM - Write stupid blog post about drooling dog

11:15 AM - Greet friend with delicious dinner at door while still in pajamas, previous days make up smeared under eyes and breast milk stains on shirt

12:00 Noon - Get dressed, feed starving older children lunch, then feed starving infant child, but neglect to feed self anything other than crust of brownies and a string cheese

12:45 PM - Go to Target with hair not done and no make up on for three items: cantaloupe melon, honeydew melon, nursing pads.

1:00 PM - Change infant child's diaper on FLOOR of Target bathroom because there's no changing station

1:05 PM - Rescue screaming infant from stroller and allow six year-old to push stroller {which he can't even see over} while nine year old pushes cart {because melons are too heavy to carry} and watch said children run into people, merchandise and each other

1:10 PM - Have complete meltdown in checkout lane while checker waits {for five endless minutes} for manager to take alarm off new Wii game, infant child screams bloody murder while nine year old pleads "Do something mommy, he's crying" and six year old attempts to open huge bag of fruit snacks spilling no less than 54 of them on floor {which he then proceeds to pick up one by one, shoving some in his mouth and others in his pockets} deflect stares of at least twenty other Target patrons, begin sweating PROFUSELY

1:15 PM - Rush out of Target and into safe haven of mini-van where blasting air conditioning at full force drys armpits . . . temporarily

1:30 PM - In an attempt to do an act of service for another new mom, drive to JoAnns to get three items: fabric, thread, D-rings

1:45 PM - Wait 15 minutes just to have 2 yards of fabric cut

1:50 PM - Wait another 15 minutes while six year old does his "business" in the bathroom, infant child again begins to scream bloody murder

2:05 PM - Wait another 15 minutes in check out line with screaming infant and worried nine year old, because apparently JoAnns had a hiring freeze and only two people work in the store, resume sweating

2:20 PM - Rely on mini-van air conditioning once again, to not only dry armpits, but also cool off infant child whose face is now beet red from screaming for a half hour straight

2:25 PM - Swear to the children that you will NEVER, EVER leave the house again for as long as you live

2:40 PM - Arrive home, send grown children to the basement with new Wii game, crash on couch and cry while feeding starving infant child who finally stops screaming bloody murder.

Luckily, this day ended with a delicious meal made by my SIL and lots of laughter with my family. If there's one thing I know, it's that food and family can take the pain away!

15 comments:

christy said...

Oh so familiar! We really are in the same boat these days. Why must the time between infant feedings go so quickly and make them "starving" in a matter of minutes. I have to admit it makes me feel better knowing some one else is going through the same thing. Hang in there!

Lori said...

I shouldn't have laughed at this post- but really it is comical when relayed in a play by play! I know you've heard it a million times before...but trust me...this will all be a distant memory in the near future...time goes by so quickly. Sending a long distance hug to one, great momma!

Tobi said...

The only way to get over such a cruddy way is to rehash it for everyone else in way that makes them laugh. Mission accomplished. You can officially move on.

Your managing just fine Sam! Your awesome, wonderful and just dandy. Don't worry if your not accomplishing anything beyond feeding your family. It will take a while for you to figure out a new balance with your new addition.

Kasey said...

Hang in there!! You're amazing.

MelancholySmile said...

Oh dear, I've had those days! {including waiting in a line at Costco with an infant just weeks old-- why is it that when a tiny baby cries it sounds as if the whole world is ending? Such a heart shattering sound!} Glad the day ended well, but wish I could somehow hand you a few extra hours of sleep and a long bubble bath!

Lori Gerten said...

Sam you are a saint! I would never have been able to do what you did yesterday and then not be arrested for murder!!

I seriously thought you might be making up your day it was so profound. But it'll be one for the memory book!!!!

Today will be better. Or maybe tomorrow. Or, heck when there all able to fend for themselves it will be better!

Stacey Gerlach Moe said...

Oh my gosh, I had knots in my stomach just reading your blog today. I hope today is much, much better! (I always use the phrase, "that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger"). I used that a lot when Benny was little and he would scream for hours because of his un-diagnosed acid reflux!!!!

TracieCarter said...

There's something so therapeutic about documenting times like these! It's a wonder any of us leave our homes, but the necessities to tend to draw us out now and then! You survived to tell it all - WELL DONE!!! And I had to giggle that you had to get in your bit of service amidst all the chaos. There's just something about doing something for someone else that lifts us up even when we're the ones in need. I think of you often, especially as I love on my friend's new baby Sophia here! Chins of love and cheeks that look too heavy to push up into those cute new smiles! Ahhh, delicious babyness!

Anonymous said...

I can't tell you how much that post means to me. You seem to be that "all-together" person that I can aspire to be, but never come close in emulating. To see you have days like this (which is most of my life) I can smile, and know that fantastic women have bad days, too. Maybe I'm not so "off."

Susan said...

That was a crazy day! At least it ended in laughter.

Anderson Zoo Keepers said...

Girl, you are a better woman then me. You at least looked back and laughed. AND I'll guess you do leave the house again at some point. I'm pretty sure the years while my children were babies have been wiped totally from my memory. OR - I've repressed them all completely.

Anyhoo
You (Oliver) have a package coming soon. I finally got my act together and sent it out.

Apis Melliflora said...

There's nothing like a baby's cry in a store line to send a nursing mother into a sweaty, hormone-charged, stressed-out tizzy. Pretty sure you channeled Erma Bombeck on this one. Very funny and heart-breakingly endearing.

The Queen Vee said...

That baby boy is delicously cute. Hopefully today was somewhat better. Hang in there....love you!

Emily said...

Love this true to life post! True to my life anyways. I have been there too many times. Thank goodness for Wii, family, and food!

Jennifer said...

Oh how I enjoyed reading this! This post gave me the laugh that was much needed today, as I am in the same boat as you. I can just picture myself in your same situation, because I have been there and will be there again!

I know we don't know each other. I am Tobi's cousin, I have met your mom and love her to death! Thank you for your blog. It always gives me a much needed good read in the middle of my crazy life!