Now that I've pontificated on the why of chores at our house, I thought I'd share what the kiddoes do around here. First, let me share four great Chore Truths that I've learned over the past eight years of having my kids help:
1. No one system works best or is set in stone. I've done chore charts, reward systems, draw a chore out of a jar - you name it, I've tried it. Each has worked for a time, but I've always felt the need to change things up after a while, which seems to keep things interesting for my kids. This includes switching the chores around. One year, the kids had the same chores every day, every week. It got monotonous and there was a lot of complaining. Right now there are several chores the kids do on a regular basis (which they find written on the chalkboard when they come home from school) and rotating chores that I have them do as the need arises.
2. Kids as young as 2 and 3 CAN DO CHORES! You have to think outside the box on what a chore is normally defined as and break it down to their level. By giving the smallest kids things to do and calling them chores, they get into the habit of being a helper from the time they are wee ones. And funny thing, the littlest kids are the ones who want to help, enjoy helping and take great pride in being a helper. It just makes total sense - GIVE 'EM A CHORE!
3. We DO NOT give chores as a punishment in this house. When I say to my child, "Because you hit your sister, you have to do an extra chore." I feel like I might as well be saying, "Chores are a punishment for your bad behavior, not a normal part of being a member of our family. " It's a given that kids aren't going to love doing their chores, but they need to understand that it is just a normal byproduct of family life - not a sentence given after wrongdoing. Granted, if a kid knocks over a box of cereal, the "chore" of cleaning it up will fall on him - but that is SO different from saying, "If you don't be nice to your brother, I'll make you take out all the trash."
4. Maintaining your personal space does not fall under the umbrella of CHORES. It falls under the umbrella of responsible human being. This includes tidying your room, making your bed, feeding your fish (at our house), respecting your furniture, etc.
5 comments:
Do you give an allowance? If so do you tie it to chores?
I do the same thing with their personal space. I let them earn extra time on the Wii for extra things they notice and clean up without my prompt.
I'm in the midst of a system change-up myself, so I appreciated hearing the chalk board idea. My problem (which I know you've had) is that with the non-readers and lists that doesn't work well so I've never had a good reward/checklist system. They just know what they needed to do. As they've gotten a bit older now, I think I can add to the pile of responsibilities they've got however - so we're changing it up and adding on. It's always so exciting for them for the first few days after a change - it's the next week or so that gets rough.
I am Scharms sister in law and she showed me your blog awhile ago and I have been keeping up with it. Hope you don't mind a complete stranger reading about your life! I have enjoyed all of your posts so thank you for sharing your life. I just had to comment on your 'chore series' because I completely agree and love that you are posting about it. I sometimes have a hard time expressing how and why I feel about certain things (such as chores) and why I would or wouldn't do thing a certain way. But you explain everything very well and I appreciate it. So thank you and I hope you don't mind me linking to these posts!
Okay, I had to comment on the bathroom thing in college! Totally true! You were always cleaning the apartment, and for some reason I remember you cleaning out the fridge on a regular basis! I loved you for it and you were the best roommate! I know you are a great mom and wife too! I love this post and it has given me some great ideas!
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