January 21, 2009

It's A Bore, It's A Chore . . .

It's only taken a week to get up the gumption to sit down and write about my kids and chores. It has something to do with not wanting to sound preachy or over-passionate about such a mundane subject, but I've decided that is unavoidable, since this is something that really matters to me - quirky, I know, but oh well.

Here comes the disclaimer: I am merely sharing my OPINIONS here and what works for me and my little family when it comes to the chore realm. I welcome any suggestions or ideas that have worked well for others. Do not be offended by what I write if you read this and think I am being a Negative Nelly about things you've chosen to do in your home. Again, this is me, opining.

First, I thought I'd share a couple of reasons why we do chores the way we do. These are not in order of importance, just in order of how they randomly popped into my brain. And, sorry to disappoint, but this is going to have to be a two-parter post because I could go on and on.
  • I grew up in a home where we had to do chores. Mine was the bathrooms. I hated it and thought that mowing the lawn (older brother chore) sounded dreamy and outdoorsy. Nevertheless, I did my chores. Looking back, I see the value in it all. I now know how to do them as an adult and was well equipped when I left home to be responsible in that way. I always seemed to be the one who cleaned the bathrooms in college when my roommates left hair and make up everywhere - some can attest as they read this blog! I think I might have even set up a little "chore rotation chart" in one apartment because I couldn't stand the mess any longer. I guess I think of the chores as one more way I'm preparing my kids to be responsible adults and spectacular spouses. Who doesn't love a man who can scour the ring right off the tub?

  • Lots of homes (with kids) in my neighborhood have the drive up cleaning ladies who show up like a sweaty cleaning tornado and get the whole house done in a day. I had a cleaning lady like that for three months a few years ago, and while my bathrooms sparkled and shined like no body's business, my kids would still squeeze toothpaste on the counter top the very day the cleaning lady came. They had NO OWNERSHIP in what had been cleaned and didn't hesitate to mess it right back up. I need my kids to feel like they have contributed to the cleanliness of our home (even if begrudgingly) because that is part of being a member of our family. No one gets a free ride here.
  • As I work with youth at church and see my own kids and their friends in differing environments, I am starting to notice an increasing trend with the younger(than me) generation. (ooh, listen to me sounding all wise and OLD.) Because kids today are bombarded with technology, infotainment, video games, music, TV shows, and just NOISE, NOISE, NOISE in general - they don't have to work real hard to "get" anything. One word seems to fit perfectly: ENTITLEMENT. Lots of kids today think it should come, it should come easy, it should come when they say, and by the way, that means now. We don't want our kids to think they are owed ease in this life. We want our kids to learn how to be hard workers - not just at a job outside our home- but at building our home environment which will earn them one of life's greatest rewards, a loving and happy family. For us, chores help accomplish this goal nicely.
  • Studies have shown that kids who have regular chores at home get better grades, are more social and have higher confidence than those who don't. This reason alone is enough to win me over to having kids do chores.
  • I've had friends tell me "Well, my son/daughter refuses to do chores." or "My three year-old will just sit and cry if I ask her/him to clean up the toys." To that I say - you're letting them get away with that? You are the adult. They are the kids. Make the expectation of inclusion as a "full fledged chore doing family member" clear from the start- which at our house is the ripe old age of two and half to three. It. Simply. Is. Not. Optional.
  • Last reason for today - really. As a mom, it is really easy to get bogged down in the monotony and sheer magnitude of household chores and duties. I have found that having my kids help out with chores makes me feel more appreciative towards them and less bothered by the messes they make. As they do their part to help out, however small it may be, I feel my cleaning burden lifted. I feel love towards that 11 year old who hauls the trash out so I don't have to leave the house in my slippers. I feel giddy when my sweet 9 year old folds socks while we chat about her day at school. And I absolutely die for a little 5 year old who stacks the silverware so neatly in its tray each day while I reload the dishwasher. I can see that these moments seem to increase the bond we have, as well as provide teaching opportunities I never saw coming.

So, there you have it - some of the reasons we do chores the way we do here in our little home. There are many more reasons - but it's late, I've been without my man for three days, and I've got three munchkins to put to bed right now. Tomorrow I'll give the run down of who does what around here.

10 comments:

The Queen Vee said...

I chore enjoyed reading this post. One of the best things my parents ever taught their children was how to work. Any house keeping skill that I have I owe to my mom. Keep it up Samantha as your kids will be a large step ahead of those who have never had to do chores.

Ruby Red Slippers said...

I agree 100 percent! I do have my boys do chores. (One day, I will list our family plan-)
I am raising three boys who I hope will have the "know how" to participate in taking care of their homes with their wives. My husband has been a great role model for this, so I think they will be too one day. Some days, they roll their eyes, and say , "Why mom??" and I always tell them, "I am doing this for your future wife! She will thank me!" ...and I don't pay them-we decided that we all do jobs here because we are all part of this family. (We only pay for 'over and above' jobs.)
Love it! You have the right idea!PS: No one says they are bored around here-they know I can find a job to fill the boredom!

Ricky said...

Sam, I love this post. Thanks for sharing it with us. I agree with everything wrote. Can't wait to read what you share tomorrow.

Tobi said...

Your right. (I love that phrase and think that one can NEVER hear too often.) Chores are good. Teaches responsibilty and builds good habits for the future. Rock on you mean mommy you! =)

Kasey said...

Great post. I agree, thank you for all the advice. I like your phrase. It's simply not optional. I'm sticking to that.

Emily said...

Amen Sister! I completely agree. You didn't sound preachy at all. Can't wait to hear more.

Suzanne C said...

I can't wait to have my 10 year old read this! Thanks for sharing!

Stacey Gerlach Moe said...

I could not agree with you more. My parents had us do chores all the time (I am not sure how Rob and Lori got away with doing less than me, but they did). I was doing the family laundry since 4th grade! (It helps that I am complete neat freak, but it also instilled in me a sense of pride and work ethic. I just wish more parents made their kids be responsible in this way. I think it also instills a sense of respect for their environment. Way to go, Sam.

Apis Melliflora said...

Excellent post. Your reasons are superb for choring. Preaching to the choir over here.

I'm curious about the chore chart, the rotation schedule, how things change as kids grow and whether allowance figures into any of this.

Please inform and enlighten us Oh Wise One.

Lori said...

Well spoken...couldn't agree more..I'm a chore fan too!