March 5, 2014

How A Hard Choice Was Made . . .


Our little Owlie will not be enrolling in Kindergarten this Fall.

That was a hard sentence for me to type.

Last year his preschool teachers informed me at the end of the year that they didn’t feel he was ready to move up to the 4’s class. I disagreed with them and enrolled him anyway. He has thrived in the class this year and has had great peer relationships with his fellow students. When I attended his parent/teacher conference at the end of January, the teachers wholeheartedly endorsed Owlie for Kindergarten in the Fall. I felt relieved and a little giddy at the thought of my boy heading off to school in the big yellow bus.

And then the sick feeling started to settle in.

At first it was just a nagging thought in the back of my head, “He isn’t supposed to go.” I tried to talk myself out of it, rationalizing that it was my momma heart having a hard time letting go of the baby. It kept coming back though, and I couldn’t ignore it.

So I started to do some research. I called, emailed and messaged people I know who’ve held their kids from Kindergarten enrollment. I asked them questions – probably too many questions. I talked to parents with children who have late birthdays (in relationship to the Kindergarten cut-off date of September 30) who decided to go ahead and put their kids in Kindergarten. I weighed what both sets of parents had to say on the matter.

Next I began to observe my Owlie boy a little more closely and to think about his childhood milestones. I really considered every aspect of his little life and how this one decision could impact him going forward, always keeping in mind that his mid-July birthday would make him one of the youngest kids in the class.

I sprung the thought of holding him from Kindergarten on the Hubby a little over a week ago. I gave him my thoughts on the matter, laid out the research I’d done, challenged him to observe our boy for a bit and then asked him if he would take the decision to the Lord with me.

Here is where our decision making becomes fool proof. We don’t make big decisions lightly. We think about them, we discuss them, we research and ponder the implications of them. Then, when we feel we’ve come to a conclusion, we take it to God with humility and prayer and ask him if the decision is correct. Without fail, we receive an understanding and confirmation that our decision it is correct. If the decision is not correct, we feel prompted to rework our decision. This way of decision making has led to a life without regret.

And now we now that our Owlie is not meant to go to Kindergarten this Fall.

It means a lot of things for me and for Owlie. I’m trying not to feel overwhelmed by that right now. Mostly, I think it means that this sweet boy of mine will be at an advantage instead of a disadvantage going into his school years. Since the decision has been made, I have felt a great amount of peace – another blessing from God telling me this is the right choice.

Tell me. Have you had to make a hard choice lately. What is your process.


Apis Melliflora said...

We went through a very similar process with Beatrix. I was really interested in the Kindergarten teachers' points of view. We made the right decision and haven't looked back. I predict that you will feel the same way, if you don't already.

Nicely done!

christy said...

Bravo on following a prompting and coming to a decision you feel is right. I am weighing this same decision myself right now. I hope to come to a conclusion myself about this soon. Thanks for sharing yours.

Tracie Carter said...

Beautiful certainty in that peace you've found, thanks for sharing the process! I foresee this in my future with my August and upcoming September baby ;)

AllisonK said...

We faced the same decision with Dash, but even before he started preschool the feelings came. He and Brick would have been in the same grade, with Brick being one of the oldest and Dash being one of the youngest (they are only 9 months apart). Ultimately is was the best decision we made. Dash wasn't ready and is now thriving being the oldest in his class.

I would be lost without those tender whisperings of the spirit.

Lee said...

I have never heard a parent say they wished they didn't hold their child back….I have however heard a parent say "I wish I held him back." Usually the harder choice is the right choice. Don't doubt yourself. You are good mamma. In honor of lent, "fast from worry, feast on divine order". xo

The Queen Vee said...

You have made the right choice. I was one of the youngest in my year group and now that I look back, I realize that I should have started school a year later. I always struggled to keep up with my peers, often wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn't keep up. I know my mom was ready for me to go to school because I was a very active challenging child but now knowing what we know about birth month order they should have sent me a year later.

Ronalin said...

Ollie is so blessed by faithful and loving parents, love how you follow the spirit's promptings. Let's hear it for the class of 2029! What... That seems so far away!

The Queen Vee said...

My goodness, I hope I'm still alive and I hope he graduates in 2028 :-)

craigandlissa said...

After raising my 5 kids and teaching preschool for over 20 years, I know many parents who wished they would have waited that extra year for kindergarten, but none who regretted the decision to do just that. It is amazing how it all works out.