I’ve long postulated that my kids never went through what many parents call the “terrible twos”. Owlie has been no exception. He was a delight to be with a two, and even more fun at three.
Now we are at four and the King of the World is making things a little difficult around these parts.
Yes, it’s true. He’s turning on me.
Actually, he’s turning on all of us. In the past few weeks there has been screaming, crying, biting, hitting, scratching, and many a time out. The siblings are done with it, giving me looks multiple times a day that say, “Seriously?” The past two nights I have found myself relieved to put my boy to bed. That is new to me with this fellow. In four years I haven’t felt like that.
I know, I know. We’ve had an unusual Summer. It’s hard to get back to normal after being a travelling band of gypsies. But really, it’s a bit ridiculous and I am weary.
Owlie doesn’t like it when the big kids call him the baby or a baby. He keeps insisting that he’s a Big Boy and not a baby. But he acts like a baby. I am ready for the Big Boy behavior to start showing up.
How about you? Was four hard for you? Any great advice you’d like to offer up? You’d never guess I’d done this three other times!
7 comments:
I am with you. 2 was a dream- every time. 3 was really cute and fun too. 4 was not fun. AT ALL. Hang on though. It gets better again.
Three was hardest for Claire and Lily, hooboy Lily's four about killed us dead. Hang in sister!
Jess
Four was the hardest for me with my youngest as well. We figured out a lot of it was being bored. She was a little too smart for her own good, so we ended up putting her in a friends preschool program and it was 10x better. She was still sassy and whiny, but tolerable.
I was wondering if you know the Wrides? Brad and Valerie, they live in your neck of the woods. We loved in Peru with them and have been friends ever since. In fact they go down to Williamsburg to see my parents and vice versa often.
Much love, and good luck with the little.
Fiesty and cute, with all those older siblings he's just trying for more independence like they have.
I don't have much advice to share with you... but I'm sure this is just a phase he is going through and one that hopefully ends soon... Big Boy behavior is around the corner!!!
"A travelling band of gypsies" – best sentence ever!!! Love it and made me smile!
I got nothing. I look to you to lead the way. So my best advice: it's just a phase; he'll grow out of it really, really soon.
Mack nearly drove us to drink the first half of 4. I talked with my counselor about it several times and he said that one of the hardest things for kids is they don't feel understood. As parents, we try to fix things: address the poor behavior, try to explain and reason with the child about why they are in trouble, give proper discipline, or try to sooth them. But the kid just want you to "get it" that they are pissed! So when Mack was mad and throwing fits, I would match his volume but not his tone of voice and just say things like, "I can see you're mad" or "yeah, that's frustrating!" Then tell them, "Dude! You can totally get out of time out when..." the whole time being equally as worked up as he was but without the anger.
At the time it seemed like it was just adding to the volume in the house and not really accomplishing much, but we have definitely made it over the hump of the "not-so-fabulous fours". Now Mack can at least stay in time out and accept that his behavior caused the "injustice" and that he cannot have everything he wants (though he still whines). A phrase I use a lot when he demands things or yells or throws a fit is, "you wanna try that again?" He knows that he'll get a lot better response from his mom if he chills out and asks nicely.
But I am still relieved to put him to bed every night. I don't think that boy will ever stop wearing me out! But that's OK. He's really good when he's asleep.
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