November 28, 2012

Finding the Key …

Random brain spew today because I need to unload what’s weighing on me:

I would love to say that I’ve found the key to successful, stress-free parenting, but I have not.

This morning I am covered in hives and still reeling from a battle royale had with the newly minted teen in our house last night.

Parenting is hard, often thankless work.  I enjoy my children immensely. They are generally kind, generous, and fun to be around. 

But when there is a bump in the parenting road, I always feel thrown.  I question whether, after fifteen years of parenting, I have any clue whatsoever as to what I’m doing.

Each child is different. Each child needs to be parented differently. There is not a “one way fits all” policy in our house. Finding the right way to love, rear and raise each child is necessary, but difficult.

There are parenting moments I am really proud of.  Times when I have felt truly inspired to say or do just the right thing at the right moment which has led to success for all involved.

Then there are times like last night, where I am just fed up, tired, stressed and DONE. 

I don’t like myself very much after I’ve yelled at one of my kids. I don’t like myself very much when I’ve said things which, though true, are hurtful to my children.

I also don’t like being disrespected and treated rudely by anyone, but most of all by my children. It hurts to the very core.

I have a greater appreciation for my parents when parenting becomes difficult for me. Thanks mom and dad for doing the hard work.

Now I’m going to spend the day in my pajamas, with my itchy, hive covered body.  I’m going to sit, think, meditate and improve on how to parent.  Then I’m going to press forward. For now, that is the only key I can find.


Apis Melliflora said...

I think the key to being a good parent is recognizing that no one is the perfect parent. We do our best and when, upon occasion we are not at our best, for whatever reason, we ask for forgiveness, learn and move on.

I'm sorry last night left you feeling low.

I'm sorry you have hives.

I hope today those things both turn a corner.

Aiketa said...

I can't give you any parenting advice (this is a chapter I haven't got into yet), but I think what Apis said makes a lot of sense.

I do understand though that you don't like yelling at your kids, and how you feel when this happens... or saying hurtful things to them... but I'm sure your kids don't like it either. I feel awful when I argue with my parents.

I hope your day is going well, and that your hives are disappearing or at least less itchy. And that you and your kid make amends.

You are such a good mother, Samantha.

The Queen Vee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Queen Vee said...

A weekend break will be a good thing, it will clear your head and hopefully cure your hives.

You are a very good mother, at least you haven't gone after anyone with a hot wheels track.

AllisonK said...

I have had one of these weeks. Reading your words made me feel better about our current bumps. Thank you. Hope you feel better soon and if you find the magic key I would love to get a copy!

brendag said...

Thank you for this post. I came here this afternoon knowing I would read something that would help me in some way. I am a mother of three teens (one that turned 18 yesterday). I was right your post reminds me that I am not alone in this struggle of parenting teens. Thank you again for posting the good, and not so good. Now to go read the scriptures, I need to read those everyday, I need the help I can only get there.