March 20, 2011

My Love/Hate Relationship With Change . . .

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I love this girl so much!

I love that she is growing up.  And I totally hate it too.  It’s hard to watch the little people in my life getting bigger and doing big things, like rolling their eyes at me and wanting to be with their friends all the time. 

But it’s also awesome to see my kids growing up and doing amazing things, like winning a medal for an essay and being asked to read it in front of all the Fifth Graders and their parents.

As a person who gets really nervous about public speaking, I was proud of Hannie B. who did a great job reading her D.A.R.E. essay in front of about 300 people.  Even though she barely cleared the podium, she sounded so mature and wise.

What got to me the most was listening to her and realizing that she was not just reading an essay but actually testifying to something she actually believes is true – that alcohol, tobacco and drugs are bad for our bodies. It wasn’t a stretch for her to write her essay because it is what she’s been taught her entire life.

How is it that I can love seeing her apply the teachings we’ve given her to her actual life, but hate that she’s old enough to have to face the very pressures that require applying those teachings? 

It’s change.  And it’s really big in our house right now.  Things are changing and I have no say in it.  My oldest two are entering that precarious preteen/teen era where choices get harder and peers start taking sides {for lack of a better term}. 

I know the changes my kids are going through will only make them stronger, better people.  But it’s still hard to see it happen.  How about you?  Do you love/hate change as much as I do?

11 comments:

brendag said...

Samantha, I was laying in bed thinking about this last night. Our son will get his drivers license in another month or so (when he has enough hours). It has been stressful and scary but also exciting to be in the car with him as he has learned to drive. The time will come soon that he will drive himself & his sister to mutual without mom or dad with them. I am happy that he is doing the normal "growing up" things but like you, I don't like it, it is really scary. Our oldest daughter is almost 15 and right behind him. Change is here at our home too.. I guess it has been for awhile... middle school, church dances, high school, dating.

Apis Melliflora said...

There are certain kinds of change I love: home improvements, adopting and sticking to healthy habits, having new siblings in my life {wink, wink}. But, clearly, you're not talking about that kind of change.

I agree that the kids-growing-up kind of change is an emotional tug-of-war in a mother's heart. Every step is one more toward independence and one away from innocence and absolute, unquestioning need.

But, even now, I need my mother(s). One never grows up and out of that.

The Queen Vee said...

Ah, life changes and the most dreaded of all to a mother are those teen years. Innocent childhoods left behind as children attempt to deal with raging hormones, acquire some independence and make more of their own choices. I remember lots of praying, gray hair arriving as kids learned to drive, standards taught but not always kept, worrying and lots of talking, (I guess mostly by me.) I also remember how fun teens could be, how much I loved their friend choices, how often we would actually have adult like conversations, their enthusiasm, their development of leadership abilities, the amount of food some of them could eat. I basked in their successes and mourned their failures. Amazingly my kiddos survived the meanest mom ever and I'm awestruck by the adults that they now are. I think we all made it through that change thanks to the tender mercies and blessings from the Big Guy upstairs.

Hannie B, you ROCK! Love the do!

AllisonK said...

she is darling and change is hard. I am quickly approaching huge changes, 1 starting University, 1 starting High School, 1 starting Junior High, and for a few brief moments in my day I will only have Loafie home. It all happens to quickly

Kasey said...

She is a beauty like her Momma!! Change..... such a difficult word to swallow sometimes!! Looks like you're doing a great job with her.

squeezeme said...

Well done Hannah! Darling curls!

It's so true that the only thing constant in life is change.... and you are navigating it gracefully.

Susan said...

Way to go Hannie B! Change is difficult. Watching Christina grow and change has been difficult but also rewarding. That is the thing about Heavenly Fathers plan. We have to change, grow, and go through lifes challanges to make it back to him. I really have relied on the knowledge of the Atonement. I know how difficult it is to let go and let our kids make their own choices. But we know if they make a mistake they have the knowledge of how to get back to where they need to be.

Lori Gerten said...

Hannah is beautiful! She looks all grown up! Gracie is turning 7 on Saturday. I am so impressed with how she handles growing up and the changes that go with it. Being a kid is much harder than being the mama watching them growing up. But being the mama of those kids is just plain hard!

Dion said...

She is about the cutest thing I have ever seen! Way to go on the D.A.R.E. speech, Hannie B!!

Some days I can't stand to watch my kiddos grow up. Other days I just love watching and/or being a part of all of the grown-up-ish things they do. I just love them all so much that it hurts my heart (either in a good way or a bad) no matter what they do!

Aiketa said...

Congrats to Hannie B!

squeezeme said...

P.S. I LOVE your stylish glasses Hannah! They make you look like a teenager. (Your mom did not want me to write that!)