November 5, 2009

Three Word Thursday . . .

Thank. You. Stephanie.

Last night I lay in bed next to my Hubby in the dark and blurted out, "I have no friends." He laughed at me and replied, "You have no friends? No, I have no friends." I'm sure he was wondering why I would say such a silly thing when I have many wonderful friends, including several with whom I am very close.

I made the snap decision that it was too late to delve deeply into my feelings and just said "Never mind." But as I was falling asleep, my mind was formulating the actual answer, which had something to do with feeling pretty lonely right now during my days at home, going nowhere, talking to no other adults, doing the same monotonous household tasks over and over, but never getting any particular one done between feedings, changings and attending to a pretty fussy baby.

Here I am, only weeks away from my "four month fog" timeline, and I feel nowhere close to being any kind of normal societally functioning human being. Maybe what I meant when I said I have no friends is that I don't feel like I'm a good friend right now because I'm not a part of what's going on in the lives of my friends and I feel very detached from what my life used to be before I had the baby.

Whenever I start to feel this way I get on my little computer and go visit a friend who doesn't even know she's a friend. And this is where my three words come in today. I click that little button right there on the left of my blog that says "I read Nie Nie" and suddenly I have perspective again. If you have not read Stephanie Nielsen's blog, today is the day you should go take a look. Her post this morning snapped me right out of my whiny, hormonal, post-baby rant about not having friends. Her before and after life is a constant reminder to me of how grateful one can be for blessings amidst true hardship and rediscovery. And today she reminded me that even when I feel like I have no friends, there is One Friend who is always there for me.

Thank you Stephanie.

PS. In the coming weeks I am going to begin sharing with you ten of my all-time favorite blogs. Consider yourselves informed today of the blog at the very, very top of my list.
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8 comments:

Apis Melliflora said...

You are not alone. But you are far away. Nie is right; one Friend is never failing and never far.

Kasey Hunt said...

I think you're amazing. You're beautiful, crafty, a good Mom, etc. I love Stephanie's blog.

The Queen Vee said...

On a daily basis, she puts her life and ours into a more clear prospective.

Right now you're meant to enjoy Owlie, there will be time again for friends but never again this precioius time with him.

Lynne said...

Your mom is so right, Sam. Enjoy this time with your sweet boy and soak in the love from your One Friend. I've never felt so loved as when I am cuddling a new one so fresh from Him. Love...

Anonymous said...

Hey there, it's me again - your Anonymous friend from August. I just wanted to let you know again how much I enjoy your blog, and that your attitude is great. I live in a town I hate, and after a year I have no friends. My neighbors don't like to associate - they're all older and there literally are no kids under 15 in the whole subdivision, so I've never really gotten to know them. The ward we're in is cold, and doesn't really welcome newcomers (it's very clique-ish). We've never once had a visit from the bishopbric, a home teacher, the RS presidency, and my VTs come to talk about themselves and then leave. When I have reached out to them (and the RS prez) I have been patted on the head, placated, and ignored. The same woman welcomes me as new every time I see her, despite us having conversations at church events numerous times. So I decided to make my friendships with my children and husband count. I have connected with loved ones who live 1000 miles away through email and phone. And you know what? I'm happy. Sure, I would love to have a girlfriend to watch my kids while I go to the DDS, but I'm happy anyway. And, my reliance on and relationship with my Savior has strengthened me in ways they never could when I had girlfriends to lean on.

To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven. Friendships are no different.

myrtle budge said...

Right now there are probably a million women saying the same thing, "I have no friends". We should all get together.

Sparcam said...

Here I sat feeling fairly icky as well. I had forgotten to look at Nie's blog today. Thanks for reminding me. That's what friends do.

Jessie said...

You are not alone in your feelings...I feel the exact same way about my life! I just did a post about my frustrations right now with baby #4.

You seem to be doing a marvelous job of keeping up w/everything (judging from your blog). Please don't get down on yourself!

I just started regularly reading NieNie after I saw her on Oprah and realized I knew her bro and sis-in-law. She truly is inspiring!