I have been thinking a lot about the comment you left for me last week. It has become the catalyst for this post - a post I have been wanting to write for quite some time.You said {in reference to the post "Faceplant"}:
"I can't tell you how much that post means to me. You seem to be that "all together person" I can aspire to be, but never come close to emulating. To see you have days like this (which is most of my life) I can smile, and know that fantastic woman have bad days, too. Maybe I'm not so "off".
Although I love blogging for many reasons {getting in touch with my inner-writer, meeting great people, a chance to record personal history} your comment reminded me of how easy it is to read someone's blog and fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to that person.
I have consciously chosen {as do many, if not most bloggers} to represent the very best of my life on my blog - the happy moments, the pretty crafts, the funny anecdotes, and yes, the occasional catastrophe involving small children. But I need you to know, Anonymous, that what I share on my blog is a mere 5 to maybe 10 percent of my actual life. My blog is a completely EDITED version of my life! {so friends of mine, if you are reading this and think you know what is going on in my life, think again!}
What I don't share, in all fairness to you Anonymous, is what makes me just another average house mom trying to survive what is an often difficult, occasionally heartbreaking and sometimes very mundane life. I don't share the sadness I feel about my child with medical issues, or the frustration I sometimes have with my family, or the fact that I raise my voice at my kids . . . A LOT or that I leave dirty dishes in the sink for days at a time because I just can't face doing them.
What I'm trying to say is, I hope you will not get sucked into the comparison trap, which I have personally found usually ends up with me feeling like a failure. Instead, I hope you will not let my blog - or any other blogs for that matter - make you feel like the writer is fantastic and you are "off". You are not "off" - you are human. And so am I.
Thanks again for your honest comment. It really made me think about what I write on my blog and how it might appear to others. I want my readers to come away feeling great about themselves and what they're doing in their lives by getting a peek into mine. I'm going to try to do better at that.
Love,
The Dragonfly
ps. For a great read on comparing ourselves to others, check out this post from Stephmodo.
4 comments:
Thank you for you honesty and Amen sister!!
I personally am so guilty of leaving the dishes for DAYS before I get around to them.
Comparing ourselves to others is something we all do, myself included. And of course when I do that, I never ever feel good about the comparision. I only know one person who always feels totally good about themself 100 percent of the time; it must be wonderful to be so self assured.
I celebrate the ways in which you're brilliant and you shine.
I empathize with the unwritten moments we all have as moms, wives, women, and creative spirits.
I support the idea of you offering us your best... or your worst with a good dose of humor.
Comparison is only helpful if it inspires us to do better or be better, recognizing all the while that God gave us each unique gifts.
That's my 2 cents!
Sammy, I've been thinking about this post and wanted to make you aware of one aspect of your blog that I love so much: for me, it's the element of fantasy! You are like my own personal Martha Stewart, and am so amazed at all the clever and marvelous things you/she come up with for the home. I work full time- in real estate, which is BANANAS- and I find your blog so inspiring because of the focus and attention you give every detail of your family life. I think it inspires me to try a little harder in my own- to find time to make s'mores with my son, or decorate that neglected corner of the house for the seasons...just wanted to say "thanks" and keep up the wonderful-ness!
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