March 5, 2008

Just One Day . . .


Yesterday I spent just one day seeing what my mom and dad do every day for my dad's cancer treatment. It was a sobering experience for me and I was too sad to write about it yesterday. But today I have to write - because I am so in awe of them and the other people I met yesterday.

This is what my dad does while my mom drives the one hour trek (in Washington D.C. rush hour traffic) each morning to the hospital. I've always thought his ability to sleep anywhere was a gift. Now I think it might have been given to him specifically for this time in his life! The traffic is messy and the Queen Vee attacks it like a warrior. All the while - and for the benefit of both of them- my dad sleeps with his special red blankie and his stocking cap pulled over his eyes as a makeshift sleeping mask.


This is the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland, where my dad has his treatment each day. It is a gigantic hospital complex with multiple buildings. This picture doesn't do it justice, but the whole thing wouldn't fit in my camera's view finder anyway. After passing under the above sign, we wound our way around corridors and down stairs into the dungeon where Radio Oncology was.

We entered a nondescript waiting room where my mom greeted people like they were old friends. I went back to the radiation room with my dad. There I actually watched them strap this hulking man onto the table to get his radiation. I kissed him on the forhead right before they put his mask on (see here) and pledged to make him a new "Fight the Cancer" mixed CD so he wouldn't have to listen to the awful elevator muzak they were playing anymore. Then I left him there and felt like a lame daughter who'd left her dad in a torture chamber. It really made my heart sink.

Out in the waiting room my mom had begun her daily ritual of thumbing through outdated magazines and striking up conversations with her new cancer spouse friends. I met Reno from Sardinia, Italy, whose wife Cynthia has been battling breast cancer for 16 years. He was a jolly Italian fellow who loves a good hamburger. When Cynthia came in, with her sweet, bald head in a hat, she exclaimed what an absolutely wonderful day it was! She was a positive ray of sunshine.

I met Maurice, who is a retired Naval photographer. He's fighting brain cancer and only had three days of radiation left. He was accompanied by his daughter and talked about how grateful he was that she was taking care of him. Other people came and went, and as they did, I wondered what type of cancer they were dealing with and who was there to support them.

The last person I met was my dad's radio oncologist, Dr. Dulgey (I'm sure I've spelled it wrong - it's German.) Here he is with my dad after examining the painful sores that have taken over his mouth. This doctor, who looked about 12 or 13 years old, scruffed the hair on the back of my dad's head and gave him a tender pat on the back. He read my dad's blog and commented about how funny it was. He seemed sincere and real to me, and I thanked him for taking care of my dad. He was hesitant to have his picture taken, for fear my dad might use it on his blog and make funny comments, but I just want to say thank you to him and all the nurses and technicians who are trying to help my dad through a really, really tough time.

This was just one day for me. But it's every day for my parents and these other people. And I am in awe of them. Pray for my dad and mom.

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13 comments:

Anderson Zoo Keepers said...

Great blog Sam. I'm glad you are so near your parents during this ordeal. I know you are a strength to them. I'm not sure you see it because you've been there since the beginning but that last photo really punched me in the gut. Love you guys.

The Carlsons said...

I'm glad that mom and dad finally let you go with them. I'm sure it was very sad to see dad and other patients having to go through this very hard experience.

Rachael said...

I love that you wrote about this. I don't know why. It's so eye-opening, maybe. When my sister was diagnosed and battling cancer, I had no idea, NO IDEA, what was going on. I was all the way across the US. Your family is lucky to have such a good daughter.

Emily said...

What an emotional blog to read! I can't imagine actually being there. No wonder you couldn't write about it yesterday. We are praying for you all.

Hil said...

I'm with Shar. I was okay until the last picture... You're all in our thoughts and prayers.

squeezeme said...

Sam, I think this is the very reason you are in VA.

My heart aches with love for you and your dear parents. I pray everyday for you, my dear friend and for your sweet mom and dad. You are inspirations to me.

Joe said...

Best of luck to the Big Guy. My mom passed away from pancreatic cancer - a real killer. God willing, your hero will beat the Big C. He should trade the sweater over the head for a Dreamhelmet for the trip to the hospital and naps everywhere else.
Check www.dreamhelmet.com

Quintuplet Dad said...

Just want to let you know that we pray for him all the time. I feel like our stuff is not that big of a deal compared with his.

Tobi said...

It's very hard to see the toll the treatments are taking on your Dad. We are praying for him and for your whole family.

Crazy Granny said...

Samantha,
You are tops. I'm so grateful that you took the time to share this with us. It's a bit sobbering to see such a thin Ken. We love and pray for your Dad and Mom, but I can see now that I need to make a place in my prayers for you and your brothers as well. God Bless you.

Sue said...

A beautiful post. I sent you an email with some thoughts, didn't want to start blubbering on your blog!

I know why your Dad's doc didn't want you taking his picture. He's afraid Ken will start referring to him as Doogie Howser on his blog.

Jodie said...

Your mom and dad are lucky to have you. I am sure your mom's friends will be looking forward to your next visit. Your dad, mom and family are in our prayers.

AllisonK said...

Samantha,
I was very moved by your thoughts and experience. We are praying for your family.