Waaa ...
That is the sound of me crying because no one warned me that being a mom is really hard.
And I'm not even talking about the exhausting day in and day out of taking care of little people, big people, meals, laundry, housework, managing schoolwork, extracurricular schedules, disrespect, talking back, sibling rivalry, self esteem issues, friend drama, illness, or lack of sleep. Because all of that stuff is hard. But I can do it.
I'm crying today because one of the hardest parts for me about being a mom is that I can't catch time in my hands. It is going by too fast for me to comprehend. This photo is an example of a moment I can't believe has already passed me by. My daughter is doing her own hair. Cue sobbing Samantha now {I know it's weird, but I really did shed tears}.
Last week Hannie B. came to me to tell me she wasn't going to wear her cutesy hair ties any more and I could give them to a friend's daughter. Out came the sparkly flower hair ties. No more pigtails for Hannie B.
I think I feel a little more sadness about my girl because she is my only girl. I've still got lots more boy left in my house. But she's the only frilly, pink sort I've got. And now she doesn't need me to brush, dry or flat iron her hair anymore. She even looks cute when she does her own hair. I'm pretty sure I didn't look cute when doing my own hair until I was in my third year of college. There are days now that my hair is questionable.
My girl is not little anymore. Well, she's petite for sure, but she's wearing mascara. She's painting her nails every other day. And she's making my heart break.
All the ribbons, bows and barrettes have gone to live with another girl. A little girl.
These children wrap their lives around my heart. They warm it and make it swell and grow and love in ways I never knew possible. Then without warning they start cutting the strings. The shock of it is something I'll never get used to. This, my friends, is one of the great cruelties of motherhood.
9 comments:
Thanks for the hair clips, sorry that you had to give them to me. Just so you know, Lucy loves them and tries to even use them as bracelets. Anytime you need "little girl" time, come and bring Oliver over and play with me and Lucy. That way I can get my time with "little Oliver" as my "little boy" time is fleeting.
There's no stopping time. Altho some things go the way never to return new things pop up to warm your heart. You must be doing something right if she can do her own hair, I think that's a positive. And look, my daughters are both mothering and doing it very well all without my help, that's a blessing and a huge heart warmer for me.
Totally agree......
Change is difficult when you love where you are. But soon she will want to go to the gym with you and cook you & the Hubby special dinners and then ask for your decorating advice! And won't that be fun!
I have a feeling you will always find something to love about where you are and where your sweet children are in their lives.
You have scared me a little bit explaining all the work being a mother brings... but I guess when the day comes, I will be able to handle it.
You also made me think of a drawing we have at my parents house. It has been there all my life. It is a cartoon illustration of the relationship between son and father at different ages. Saying that when you are little, you think your father knows it all. when you grow a little bit more you start thinking he doesn't know everything. Then the great years of adolescence when you don't want to know much about your parents, then at middle 20s or 30s that you go back to them again (they are your friends)...
I like it so much and I think is so true. Next to the one of the father (the original one we had) I hanged a magazine version but with mother and daughter. Love them!!!
(I searched on google and couldn't find a photo of what I'm talking, so it would be easier for you to imagine what I'm saying.)
AMEN!!!!!!! Did you read my post on FB yesterday?? AMEN!!!!!!!
Today is not a good day for me to talk about kids growing up. My oldest became a teen-ager on Sunday, he's way taller than me now. I had my first New Beginnings with my recently turned 12 daughter yesterday. And, today I cried when I listened to Mindy Gledhill's song, Hourglass. My 2 other "babies" are 10 and 8 and I feel like childhood is so fleeting. I know we still have many years ahead and memories to make. But, today I just feel like holding them all as the little chubby cheeked babies they were. I'm going to go cry some more as I look through their cherubic baby pictures, it's just one of those days for me when I miss their littleness. Tomorrow I'll rejoice in their independent and capable selves.
I completely relate, it seems like time has sped up somehow and I can see how giving away your only girls hair do-dads would be very hard and emotional. Big Hug!!!
I have had similar feelings and it happens with every child, but let me tell you it's better where we are now. I didn't think it was possible, but I am LOVING where my older girls are and the relationship we have. Worth the tears.
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