May 2, 2014

A Laryngitis Letter…

me

Dear Wonderful Person Reading This:

I have lost my voice.

For the past few weeks I’ve come to this little place of mine with the intention of speaking in the form of writing and my voice has been weak, shaky, or altogether gone.

I love this blog. I love the people I’ve met and reconnected with through writing it. I have felt one of God’s gifts to me being manifested as I’ve shared my thoughts, feelings and musings in my little corner of the internet for seven years.

But I have always known that if I ever came to a place where the things I wanted to say ceased coming easily and I couldn’t translate my thoughts into words, I would have to step back and reevaluate why I was here and what I was doing.

I have come to that place. I am experiencing blogger’s laryngitis and it is painful.

Mostly it hurts because I feel like I am letting other people down. My family, whose record this is, several of my friends who are devoted readers, and many of you whom I’ve never met in person, but have come to love over these years as you have lifted me up with your kindness and generosity in simply coming here to read what I have to say.

It also hurts because I feel a deep sense of loss. Why am I stumbling with my words and thoughts now? What if I don’t ever get back in to a “groove” of regular writing? Why is this even happening? This blog has been a place of security for me for so long, like a true friend I know I can always turn to when I’ve got something to say and need a good listener. Now it feels like the used to be good friend I’m avoiding like the plague.

So what does this mean? Well, the very fact that I’m posting this late in the afternoon (gasp!) and on a Friday (for shame!), means I’m hoping none of you will be mad at me or sad at me until at least Monday. It means that I will no longer be disappointed in myself for not being on a regular five posts a week schedule. It means that I will be happy enough if I post once a week, twice a week, or not at all in a week. It means that many of you may stop stopping by, and I understand that because the world of blogging is a world of consistency.  It means that I am going to refocus, reenergize and then reunite with this blog only when I do not look at the computer with guilt or heaviness and think, “Oh man, I have to blog” but instead think, “I’ve got something to share that I’m excited about or think is really important.”

Thank you for being a reader of my words. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for understanding that I have put a whole lot of myself into this place I love.

Please forgive me that I am not what I was. And be patient as I become who I should be.

With Sincerity, The Dragonfly (Samantha Lee)

17 comments:

The Hub said...

I love who you are and will always be by your side to help you become who you want to be. I love you.

Michelle Johnson said...

I love you Samantha- no matter how often you write. I enjoy it every time. Thank you for being open and sharing yourself thoughtfully!

christy said...

I always enjoy reading your blog but if you've got nothing to say right now, that's ok. Don't feel bad about it. Enjoy life and your writing will return when the time is right.

Anonymous said...

You know Sam, everyone needs a vacation, especially Bloggers like you who most often put out five days a week. It's clear each of your messages has taken time - time from actual precious minutes each day & time for additional thought about what to write next, how to express it, how much to share. We, your admirers, will love you always. Concluding the blog wouldn't change that. Only you know what is best for YOU and whatever that is is what I want for YOU to choose. That is what will make me happy.
Hugs - darling Sam who I admire for a million reasons besides your Blog.
Linda

Apis Melliflora said...

Honesty is never disappointing and should not require forgiveness. Also, whether you blog once or twice a week or not at all, you will always be a writer and photographer. I wonder what insight God is preparing you to receive through this blogger's laryngitis? Love you.

Stacey Gerlach Moe said...

Take the time you need and know that we will be here waiting for you when you are ready to come back!!! Even though you don't feel inspired, please know that your blog has inspired me and I truly enjoy reading it!!!

"See" you back here soon, Sam!!

Stacey (Gerlach) Moe

Kelli said...

I visit here each day to be uplifted and inspired. You have touched my life in ways you may never know. I admire you so very much and really appreciate when you've kept things real. If the words aren't there right now, that's okay. Take some time and let The Lord guide you in His path for you. I won't stop checking in because YOU ARE MY FAVORITE BLOGGER! You have a true gift for spreading goodness in this world.

Love ya,
Kelli

The Queen Vee said...

Blogging shouldn't be a burden. Take a break, if the muse returns that we be great….if not, I know where to find you.

The Queen Vee said...

I'm consistent…WOULD BE GREAT.

TracyS. said...

You've done a great job with this blog. I've enjoyed your insights and beautiful moments and your heartfelt posts.
Take a break and enjoy your life!
If you return to blogging, do it because it pleases you.

Sue said...

You should only blog when you want to, not because you "have" to.

Your blog has become a place of contemplation and self-evaluation and sunshine spreading. That doesn't mean it has to continue to follow that model to have value. What if you just treated it like Instagram? Post a few pictures with brief descriptions- my kid said this funny thing, look at the mess I'm dealing with (hello, baseball pants!), I saw this pretty thing when I was on my walk today, etc. You will still be recording a history for your family but without the pressure of composing something clever or super heartfelt. It will continue to give your family and the rest of us a glimpse of who you are. You could even just copy what you do on Instagram because not all of your readers are on there, plus you will have things recorded in a format where you can include them in your annual printed blog book.

Whatever you choose, do it because YOU want to, not because you think everyone else is expecting it. Breathe. The answer will come.

Sue said...

P.S. I had to giggle because Linda said you put out five times a week.

The Queen Vee said...

Sue gave you great advise.

Melissa said...

I check your blog often and love what you post, but I know how life goes. :) I have a 13 year old daughter dealing with anxiety and really, truly appreciate knowing I am not alone. Thanks for the support you gave someone you don't know. :)

squeezeme said...

I love you, dear friend. It's coming to the end of the school year and burn out of many things is all around us. Breaks are important and allowing the ebbs and flows of life help us find happiness and contentment.

Anonymous said...

I have read your blog for years, I kind of stumbled upon it - and I want to say that I've enjoyed everything you have written but please do not feel you are letting anybody down by taking a breather! Not at all! You have generously shared your thoughts and feelings with others, made people think, made people smile, that is something to be very proud of. Best wishes!

-K

JulieB said...

I stopped reading most blogs because I found myself comparing too much...but I always read your blog because you are so GENUINE. It's always been refreshing and inspiring to read your thoughts. Thanks for all you've shared- and enjoy a break!