October 30, 2013

The Truth About Lying …


This picture makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy, because I just want to kiss all over that sweet little freckly, white face. Sad, because two seconds before I took this picture I asked my Ollie, “Did you sneak some Oreos?” His quick and confident reply was, “No Momma. I did not.”

It’s funny, right? Funny that he was so sure his truth would be believed even though the evidence was right there on his face.

I can remember the time each of my four children first lied to me. It broke my heart. Still does.

The virtue of honesty is paramount to me. I try to be honest in my dealings with others. My Hubby and I have worked tirelessly to instill this virtue in our children. I have a quote framed in our home that says “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of life.” I believe it.

Here’s the truth though: my kids still lie. Every single one of them.

Why do kids think they can lie and get away with it? I wish I knew the answer to that question. I tell my kids all the time, it is better to tell the truth and accept whatever consequence comes than to lie and have that lie grow out of control, resulting in more trouble, hurt feelings, additional bad consequences, etc. in the future.

I’ve also told my kids that no matter how well they think they’ve deceived me, us, or someone else, THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS BE DISCOVERED EVENTUALLY. Experiences in our home have supported this fact time and time again. Sometimes I feel like a master sleuth when I’ve caught my kids in a lie. I raise my hands in the air like Rocky and shout VICTORY because I could totally read their bluff.

Then I slump my head in shame and just feel like a big loser because I remember that they lied to me.

As a parent I want to raise children who are confident, strong, faithful, loving, and have integrity. I believe by doing so, I will send them into the world prepared to serve others and make a difference.

I’m ready to crack down on lying. Give me your best suggestions on how to teach honesty in the home.

I need help. And that’s no lie.


Apis Melliflora said...

Continue to teach by example.

Make a point to show them times when you tell the truth and deal with the unpleasant consequences.

I think the truth-telling lesson is one of those learn over-and-over-again lessons. Even as an adult I sometimes lie to myself that I am doing my best when, in fact, I am not.

When you catch your kids in a lie, you also get to re-enforce the lessons of natural consequences and forgiveness. =)

The Queen Vee said...

No easy solution.

We all lie even though we think we're being honest.

Example is always the best way to teach.

Finally, you could borrow one of those masks from the Torture museum in Germany and make them wear it. You know the one, it has a big long tongue coming out of the wooden mask. I bet that would cure them. LOL!

Aiketa said...

That photo of Ollie is funny, since it's the typical kid picture with chocolate on the face and saying e didn't eat a cookie.

Also, I understand why you don't like it. I don't know how to teach the importance of saying the truth always, but I agree with what the Queen and Apis said. Example is always the best way to teach something.

Bells said...

Well, what to do, that is the question. I think most families/kids struggle with telling the truth. I think being consistent in your teachings, in your reinforcement of "honesty is the best policy" is the best thing to do. I think everyone has to experience the consequences of their actions for themselves at some point. I have one child who has lied and this one was recently lied to by a friend and it did not feel good. Perhaps that will help this child think of how it felt before he/she lies again.

Pinspot said...

Been thinking about this post all day. My sister gave me great advice once. She advised me to stop asking questions I know the answer to. This helps prevent a habit of lying from forming. For example, instead of asking if he ate the cookie, you could say, "Ollie, I can tell by the crumbs on your face that you ate cookies." Why give them the opportunity to lie?

I thought she made an interesting point.