April 25, 2012

Battle of the Wills …

Yesterday was an epic disaster in the mothering realm for me.  It may have had something to do with Owlie hunting down red nail polish and then painting the bathroom with it. Maybe.

I should have known at breakfast it how it was gonna to go down. 

“Owlie, here’s your milk.”

“Not dat kine.”

“Yes, this kind.”

“No. I no like dat.”

And so the battle of the wills began.  He fought me on any and everything from that point on.

Him: “No change my diaper.” Me: “So you want to sit in poop?”

Him: “I be nakey. No pants.”  Me: “It’s only 45 degrees outside.”

Him: “I no like my tools. I want Daddy’s hammer.” Me: “Not ever going to happen.”

The battle came to a head when he pushed a chair up to the counter for the fiftieth time to try and reach The Hubby’s tools {recently moved to a high shelf for this very reason}. I pushed the chair back to the table with a firm, “NO”. He persisted and pushed it back to the counter.

I told him he shouldn’t do it.  I reminded him gently that this wasn’t going to go well for him and that he could get hurt.  I then watched him pull the small electric screwdriver out of the tool box and drop it on his own head.

I really wanted to say “I told you so.” But there was crying and a small goose egg so I kicked into loving mama mode and carried him up to his room to calm down.

Five minutes later he came down the stairs, said “I happy now, mama,” and that was that.

I felt pretty exasperated and muttered out loud, “Owlie, what am I going to do with you?”  Then the light bulb went off in my head.

How many times has my Heavenly Father gently reminded me, “Don’t do that.  You really shouldn’t go there.  This is not going to end well for you if you choose to ignore my advice on this matter.” ?  Let’s just say it has been many times.  Too many times for me to count.

I’m sure He is up there shaking His head or even banging it against a heavenly wall while muttering, “Samantha, what am I going to do with you?”

His wisdom is greater than mine. I know He wants only what is best for me.  And yet I constantly battle – His will against mine – hoping that one day my will will win. Often after pushing my will against His I get hurt. Not usually physically, but emotionally or spiritually. Yet he never tells me, “I told you so.” Instead He patiently waits for me to come to Him after a self imposed time out. When I submit to His will I am “happy now”.

All these little moments we experience as parents are a window into what it must be like for our Heavenly Parent. I am learning so much, still, and am trying harder to not engage in my own battle of the wills.


Apis Melliflora said...

I agree. Being a mother has taught me many spiritual lessons I probably would not have otherwise learned.

Faithful, patient and merciful--I continually strive to be these things for my children. I don't always succeed (especially at mealtimes). But I keep trying.

MelancholySmile said...

Such an apt comparison. I constantly marvel at the wisdom of this mortal life and the way it is designed to teach us.

PS aside from the nail polish, that is one sparkling bathtub! I want to go to there.

AllisonK said...

As always lovely!

The Queen Vee said...

You hit the ball out of the park on this one.