What You Get When You're Naughty . . .

There's a thirty-seven year old man living at my house whom I lovingly refer to as "The Hubby". (Names of the not so innocent must also be protected.) This Hubby is known to frequent LDS church 'cultural halls' on a weekly basis to participate in the crazy tradition we Mormons call Church Ball. He gets suited up in his basketball gear and heads out of the house with me always shouting after him, "Be safe - and by that I mean don't try to play like you're still eighteen!"

When you're naughty and don't listen to your wife, especially at Christmastime when Santa is watching, this is what happens to you. You come home from Church Ball bloodied and swollen with a huge gash on your once lovely, straight and bump free nose. Then you have to conduct church on Sunday with a big old band-aid on your nose. You also have to retell what happened at least forty times to the curious church members. You get black swollen eyes that turn a sickly yellow just in time for Christmas morning. And you get a wife who tells you that although you aren't eighteen any more - this is really in line with what an eighteen year old would do. Now you can't tease your wife any more about the bump on her nose. Naughty, naughty, naughty!