I Swear I Don’t Make This Stuff Up …

This post is going to be all about my last born child. He is cracking us up on a daily basis. It is important that we record his antics for his future children.

I took this picture last week while he was doing his most loathed chore: putting the silverware away. He’s so good at it, though, and I hate doing it even more than him, so it will be his job until I say otherwise. His hair is its own entity. We call it “The Wave” and he loves it. He won’t leave for school unless I’ve sprayed and gelled it up. It makes him extra spunky and cute.

Four Owlie stories need recording currently. Please bear with me.

1. Ollie lost a beloved Winter hat at school yesterday. When I asked him about it this morning, he told me he left it in the bathroom. I questioned the validity of that statement, wondering why on earth he’d have his hat in the bathroom. He very sternly reminded me, “Because that is the first place we go when we get off the bus, Mom! To wash our hands – you know – so we don’t spread germs!” Then he put his hands on his hips and gave me this look of sympathy/exasperation and muttered under his breath, “I think you need to go back to Kindergarten.” I laughed hard.

2. Ollie got some new shoes and sweatpants recently. The shoes are black canvas high tops. They’re hip. The sweats have a modern cut to them – tapered at the ankle (skinny sweats?) but baggier at the top. He wore the shoes and sweats to school before Thanksgiving with a shirt that said “EPIC” on it. His teacher texted me later that day and told me to ask Ollie if he’d learned a new dance at school. So I did. He then proceeded to bust out a perfect MC Hammer dance. It seems his teacher and teaching assistant are children of the 90’s, like me, and the minute they saw his pants and high tops they couldn’t help but think “Stop! Hammertime.” Ollie is a good sport who just happens to love to dance. Cracked me up!

3. I got another text from Ollie’s teacher this week. She wanted to know if I’d sent Ollie to school with money to give his friends. I quickly replied with a big HECK, NO!!! But then I remembered he’d earned $2 from doing some yard work for my mom over the weekend, so I mentioned this to the teacher. She then asked, “Are you sure he didn’t earn $40, because that’s what he’s trying to give his friend, Angelica.” Holy Cow! My six year old is trying to win girls over with cold hard cash! The money came home in an envelope and Ollie is forbidden from taking money to school from now on.

4. Ollie has had a pretty bad sinus infection for the last almost month. Lots of coughing, antibiotics and nose blowing going on around these parts. His teacher called me last week and I was immediately nervous when I saw her name on the caller ID. Turns out she was calling to see if she could text me a video of Ollie she’d taken at school that day. But first she had to give me the background behind the video. Apparently Ollie had been telling her ALL about his mucus for two weeks straight. He’d interrupt her lessons to go spit in the sink, after which she’d shout across the room: “RINSE IT! WASH UP!”. He affectionately referred to it as his “mucus situation”. Cue the video, which was taken after a round of Z-Pack antibiotics finally started drying him up. She caught him with his finger so far up his nose he was practically touching his brain! When she asked him what was going on, she got him on video telling her “My boogers have turned to rocks! They are hard and stuck up in there. So I have to work to get them out.”

I swear, I don’t make any of this stuff up. He is a keeper, that little Owl of mine!