Well, that is a very good question. In fact, it’s a question I keep asking myself a lot lately. I think I’ve come up with a few answers:
1. We have four kids. They are all active and involved. This means I am tired. Real tired. The little boys are best fighting friends. This means I am breaking them up fifty times a day – which is too much considering RedDog doesn’t even get home from school until 4:00! I don’t see the big kids from six in the morning until six at night. But once they’re home, it’s cram packed with family dinner, homework, music practice, scripture study, catching up and then they’re off to bed because they get up at 5:30.
2. I am getting up at 5:30. This means I am tired. I’ve been trying to ease my bedtime forward from 11:00 to about 10:00 and I am failing miserably. I just want some time to myself in the evenings with my husband and my iPad and no dishes in the sink or laundry to fold. Ya know?
3. I have Owlie. This means I am tired. He is on full systems go right now. While he wasn’t ready educationally for Kindergarten, I think his little personality wishes there was school every day. I can’t ignore him, though I do expect him to have solo time. So we play, walk to the park, do puzzles together, bake yummy things, read books, journey to the library, and run errands. It makes me tired.
4. I am exercising every day. This means I am tired. I’d love to say I’ve lost a bunch of weight. I haven’t. I love food and that is why. But I have gotten a whole lot stronger, which I feel good about…when I’m not feeling super sore and really tired.
5. I am in a lonely place. This doesn’t make me tired as much as it makes me a bit down. With Ronalin gone (I know, I know, it’s been over a year) and my SIL Audrey recently moved to Utah, I am missing my best friendships. I am alone a lot or alone with a five year old a lot. I miss my girls I could just chat for hours with. It’s a new place for me and I feel uncomfortable in it.
6. We have some family trials right now. They make my heart heavy and my mind worry. I am trying to find comfort in the things I know will help – prayer, fasting, serving others, leaning on the Lord. But there is still stress and concern and a hope and desire that all will be right again soon. I hate seeing people I love go through tough times. It stinks.
So, that’s what’s going on. Still here. Still chugging along. Doing it while tired, but trying to recognize blessings and find happiness everyday. Hope you are well and doing the same!
8 comments:
Hang in there, friend! It is funny to me how much our lives mirror each other in many ways. I, too, find myself busy, lonely, tired, etc. Life is so good but hard, too.
Sending you warm thoughts for courage to face those challenges, pride to know that you're doing an excellent job in guiding your sweet family, and the love of all those you touch through your witty and beautiful writings, amazing photo's, encouraging yet practical words of wisdom and thought provoking statements that you're 'real' - just like so many others. Keep referring to your prayers and scriptures - this too shall pass. Thank you for enlighting my life!
Oh my awesome friend who I miss so dang much, I love you for all you do and how much you love! At times when I feel homesick, I think why I never felt this in Virginia and realize it was because of YOU! When you are at my side, you help make me happy where ever I am. Lucy wishes she could hang with her favorite buddy instead of kissing on his photograph she carries in her purse. We both love you two crazies!!
I hope your tiredness is lifted as routines become more regular, bedtimes lend you more sleep, exercise gives you more energy, the people you love in your home get along and sometimes play solo, and the trials slowly (or quickly) disappear and normalize. Oh, and I wish that someone as wonderful as you moves into your ward and the seed of a new friendship begins to grow.
love you!!!!
Hate to say it but you've just got to go to bed earlier…asleep by 10:00 PM needs to be the protocol.
Hopefully the family trials will ease up in the next few months.
I'll talk to you whenever you want although I'm not a girl anymore. My girlfriends aren't readily available either, I've have had to learn to adjust and rely on the phone a whole lot.
I am sorry for your family trials and hope that you are comforted and strengthened through out.
I feel a lot of those things too- thanks for sharing your list.
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