January 31, 2011

Because You Asked . . .

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{Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you!}

Wow! I loved the questions you asked yesterday. They are making me think about things deep {first memory? AACK!} and not-so-deep {Ollie & dark haired women}, things organizational {tips for girls to come} and things chaotic {my actual, usual life}. I plan to answer every SINGLE one of them. 

Some of the questions deserve their own posts! Look for those in the very near future.  I’ll try to tackle one of the more-in-depth questions each week.

Today, I thought I’d conquer some of the easier ones. 

Do you have a "set" blogging time each day? If so, is Ollie under foot? 

Most days I get my three older kids off to school, feed and change Ollie and then sit down to the computer to write for fifteen minutes to a half hour.  Ollie plays with his kitchen or blocks or tools while I type.  I usually talk to him or write out loud and often he’ll crawl up into my lap and try to push the laptop keys. 

When I’m feeling particularly reflective {mocassins, slivers, builders, birth stories, etc.} I will write ahead of time, reworking over a few days until I feel like I’ve got my thoughts to a point where I can share them without being self conscious.

Often I write posts the night before if I know I’m going to have an especially busy morning with errands, meetings, etc.

And occasionally, when I have a sudden burst of energy or ideas, I will write several posts ahead of time and draw from the “stock pile” when I need to – although this rarely happens.

No matter which of these options I choose, I always find that writing frees up my mind to focus on other things throughout the day. Since it is my only form of journaling right now, I have made it a priority. It’s my therapy!

Is Ollie still attracted to women with dark hair?

If you are my sister-in-law Audrey, yes.  All she has to do is show up at our house and Ollie is all smiles and flirting.

If you are the sister who runs the nursery at church, no. All she has to do is invite Ollie in the door and he’s all tears and screaming.

Can we see your basement re-do already and did you ever get that slipcover lady's name for me?

The basement is officially NOT done. Let’s just say I lost my steam. For example: the playroom has been taped off to paint for four months.  I don’t even notice the blue tape anymore. Sad.  Your question has planted a little spark in my heart and I plan to work on the basement incrementally until it is done. I have hopes of finishing it for a visitor in March.

And I will speak to my friend in Utah today about the slipcover lady. So expect an email from me in your box. Sorry for the delay Em!

My kids are home from school again today – this time for a measly ice storm.  My hope is to plan Valentine’s ideas with Hannie B. and RedDog.  Can you believe that lovely love day is only two weeks away!  What are your plans?

Do You Ever Wonder . . .

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How my crazy boot boy is doing? Well, in this photo he is attempting gymnastic feats while watching the most recent episode of Blue’s Clues. All four of the Lee kiddoes have been fans. {Personally, I’m solidly in the Steve camp. Joe’s fine, but he’s lacking the dry wit of Steve.} All this to say that Ollie acts as if there is no boot at all.  We go back to the doctor’s for follow up x-rays on Wednesday and then we’ll be back to normal around here. Who am I kidding? It’s never normal around here!

Do you ever wonder what really goes on here? Do you ever want to ask me a question and get a real honest answer?  Well, now’s your chance.  Just leave a comment on today’s post with whatever you’d like to ask me and I’ll answer it.  Try to be nice, though.  No meanies allowed.

Answers tomorrow! {If anyone asks a question}

Updated the photoblog today.

January 28, 2011

Thoughts On Slivers…

Look closely. Right there at the end of my tweezers.  Do you see it? How on earth can something so small be such a HUGE problem?

This sliver lodged itself in my finger when I picked up a broken basket.  I didn’t even know it was there . . . initially.  But after a day or two, it made itself known to me with a dull throbbing at my fingertip.  I just assumed I’d bumped my finger and went about my day. 

By the third day, my finger was sore to the touch and a tender red spot had formed where the sliver was lodged.  I got out my tweezers and went to work.  But I had a problem. The sliver was in a finger on my right hand. I am right handed. Have you ever attempted to get a sliver out using only one hand – and your non-dominant hand at that?  It was pathetic. I gave up.

By the fourth day I couldn’t stand the pain any longer.  So I sat on the edge of my tub - determined to get the job done -  and began poking, prodding and tweezing through the pain.

After a half hour, I finally got the sliver out.  With its removal came instant relief and joy!  I looked at the offending piece of wood.  It was tiny. I was amazed at my body’s ability to detect a change and continue to remind me it was there until I did something about it. Goodbye and good riddance sliver!

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Get ready. Here comes the analogy.

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A little over a month ago a thought randomly crossed my mind. I pretty much passed it off as nothing and moved on with the business of life.

Only two days later, I had the same thought, but in a very different way.  I would go so far as to call it a very strong feeling or prompting. I was being told that there was something that needed to be done. And to be clear, I was being told by God. 

So I tried to do what needed being done.  And I was shut down. Despite efforts on my part, the choices of others assured me it would not be happening.  It was painful for me.

Over the course of the month, the little thought that had come to my mind grew.  I was reminded of it in multiple dreams.  I thought about it when I was standing at the sink doing the dishes. It consumed much of my mind until I could not take it any more.

So I got down on my knees and I prayed earnestly for it to happen. Then I did things in my power that would help it to happen.  And I am so grateful that today I can say relief has finally come. 

I have learned from this experience that in life we have slivers.  Things that we need to do.  Fences we need to mend.  Wrongs we need to right.  Action we need to take. People we need to help.  We have a loving Heavenly Father will put into our minds a tiny thought or idea, which he will let grow until we are willing to do something about it. Sometimes the process may be painful.  It may take time. But I know that when we do what He needs us to do, we will find relief and we will experience joy.

Do you have a sliver that needs taking care of? Take a minute today to evaluate your life, your relationships, your actions. Trust me – you won’t regret it. Because things that are small can become HUGE.

January 27, 2011

Child Labor Laws . . .

We FINALLY got a decent snow and the kids and I couldn’t be happier!  The Hubby, on the other hand, not so much. It took him 3.5 hours to make the 20 mile commute home from work last night and then his car got stranded on the hill coming up to our house and he had to walk the last 100 yards in his nice leather shoes in a foot of snow.

School was cancelled yesterday and again today. I love it when my kids are home unexpectedly – and that is not me being sarcastic.  I really do. Ollie is happier.  The big kids are happier.  And even I feel happier until the fighting sets in.

But for now they are in snow heaven – outside with all the neighborhood kids making forts and snowball fighting.  It’s only a matter of time before our cousins show up and the sledding begins. We may have to make a snowman or five since it is perfect snow for such things – heavy, wet and rollable.  Then I will get out the mugs and make hot chocolate and grilled cheese and all my red-cheeked people will dump their wet wear in the dryer so they can go back out and do it all again! 

We handed Ollie a shovel while we dug out this morning. Is there a child labor law against having 18 month-olds work the snow? He was thrilled to be part of the action in his first true venture out into the white stuff. Last year didn’t count since he was in his daddy’s arms the entire time.  There were a few “Christmas Story” moments where he fell over in his snow gear and couldn’t get up.  I laughed because I am a  mean mom. I also dragged him around in the baby sled and took a gazillion pictures because my boy is dang cute in his snow get up.

Want to know who’s not so cute in snow gear? Me.  But I took a picture anyway.  Don’t look too close.  I think I have snot coming out of my nose.

January 26, 2011

How To Mend Fences . . .

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{Poor Ollie – he’s offended on a daily basis.}

Have you ever offended someone else without meaning to?  And then you learned that they were angry or upset or sad or devastated?  It is definitely one of my least favorite situations to be in.  And yet, it does happen.

Recently we’ve been the cause of offending someone when truly, no offense was intended. And this is what we’ve learned:

  • Apologize.  Even if you’ve done no wrong.  An apology can go a very long way in mending the hurt feelings of others.
  • Acknowledge the efforts of the individual who has been offended.  Help them to feel appreciated and validated.
  • Do not continue the cycle of offense by getting offended yourself.  Try to see things clearly by putting yourself in the shoes {moccasins} of the other person.
  • Recommit to not being offended by the actions of others in the future, by remembering that to be offended is a choice we make ourselves.

A favorite quote by David A. Bednar comes to mind {found here}:

When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else…

You and I cannot control the intentions or behavior of other people. However, we do determine how we will act. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended.

So, in summary, choose not to be offended!  And, just in case, I am truly sorry if I have ever offended any of my readers with something I have written on this blog.  That was NEVER my intent. I am a pleaser by nature and just want everyone to feel happy!

January 25, 2011

The Other Three . . .

Here’s news for you:  I have three other kids!  And because they are gone from me most of the day I don’t get enough photos of them.  When we are together, it is usually crazy. And homeworky. And chauffeury. And teen angsty. And drama queeny. Making words by adding –y is fun. But I digress.

My three big kids are home with Ollie and me today because the teachers are working on report cards. So I took a picture of them.  And now I have some observations to make:

  • Big C is BIG!  He’s practically bending in half for this shot. 
  • His hands and feet are bigger than mine now. Waaaa!
  • I’m surprised he actually smiled to show his braces.  He’s had them for three two months and this is the first time he’s let me take a picture.
  • He’s playing basketball right now and his team {coached by the Hubby} is undefeated! Another post devoted entirely to that team in the works . . . you’re going to love these boys!
  • Believe it or not, Big C’s Justin Bieber hair was just cut! Yikes. And though it looks greasy in this picture, it’s just wet from the shower.
  • Hannie B is fresh out of bed for this picture.  She’s got a nasty cold and can’t breath out of her nose.  I keep telling her that’s why she has a mouth, but she doesn’t get it.
  • She’s taking private art lessons right now and it is AWESOME!
  • She is also the lone piano player in our house.  I’m very proud of her progress and told her yesterday that she has now surpassed me in musical talent. She didn’t seem too impressed.
  • RedDog has large front teeth. And cute freckles.  And ears that make me smile.  He reminds me of Alfred P. Newman {remember MAD Magazine?}.
  • He is currently doing no extracurricular activities, which is probably the only thing keeping me SANE. It also allows him plenty of time to build Legos and bug Oliver – his two favorite things currently.

We’re going to go do something fun today because we can!  Hope your Tuesday is great.

January 24, 2011

Epic . . .

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I am married to a man in his forties. Scandalous!

The Hubby’s birthday weekend was very festive and fun. It included shopping for shoes {his fave} and jeans, dinner with great friends, winning a basketball game, inspiration and guidance at Stake Conference, a yummy breakfast, a birthday present scavenger hunt by Hannie B, a birthday dinner with my family and skyping with the Hubby’s family {a first for us and the kids loved it!}.

The best part of the weekend was watching the Hubby read “40 Message From 40 Friends”.  I’d spent the past three weeks hounding people from various stages of the Hubby’s life {childhood, high school, college, work, church, family} to send a message with a memory, a tribute or a birthday wish.  I got the last three on Saturday morning, typed them up and printed them on cardstock.  People said such wonderful things about my Hubby.  People also said such funny things.  All of it was true!

When I gave the gift to the Hubby – my one ‘GRAND GESTURE’ for his fortieth – he sat at the table, reading each card, tears in his eyes, a smile on his face, every once and a while a gut laugh bursting forth, just feeling loved, appreciated and happy.  It was THE moment. And it was followed by apple cake with warm caramel topping. Huzzah!

I think he’s going to look so dashing in his new Superman t-shirt. The forties are going to be awesome. I can say that since I won’t be forty for a few more years.

Thanks Lee for the fabulous gift idea.  It didn’t disappoint.

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January 21, 2011

Today, I’ve Got Nothing . . .

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Except the most ginormous, delicious lemon bar ever.  Want a bite?  I’m gonna eat it here in the car parked right in front of Mom’s Apple Pie where I bought it. And I’m going to get powdered sugar all over my pants and face without caring. Admit it, you’re jealous. 

I’ve got a birthday to pull together today.  My Hubby is turning 40 on Sunday.  It’s a big deal. At least to me.

I was looking at all the lines on his face last night {no, we aren’t calling them wrinkles around here}.  They represent 16 years of laughing at and putting up with me. And 13 years of children.  And 24 years before any of us were really a factor in his life, but other people helped him create his story. I love his lines.  They tell of trials, of joy and of sorrow.  They are only a small part of what makes him an amazing man.  I really love him more than pretty much anything else. Even more than the lemon bar.

Have a great weekend!

January 20, 2011

I Really, Truly Do Not Recommend . . .

Sticking a crayon in your eye.

Washing the glass turntable from the microwave with {slippery} hot water while thinking, “It’s not breakable, is it?”.

Putting four pieces of paper through the shredder when it says three sheets maximum.

Trying to find out if a bracelet made by a girl being worn by a teenage boy in your house means something.

Using a vacuum cleaner that is on it’s very last leg and sounds like a dying dog.

Making a recipe for dinner and waiting until the last step to realize you do not have a key ingredient.

Eating salsa with a whopper canker sore on your tongue.

Wanting to make a milestone birthday fabulous when the birthday boy is a “no hoopla” kind of guy.

Watching The Biggest Loser while eating a tall stack of oreos.

Changing a diaper on a boy whose new nickname is “Crazy Kicking Boot”.

Attempting to wait up late {anytime past 11:00} for your Hubby to return from a business trip.

Leaving your fresh Christmas greenery up past mid-January.

Looking under the couch in the basement to find three months worth of empty chip, string cheese and fruit snack wrappers.

Getting volcanic zits inside your nose when you are thirty-seven.

Leaving scissors ANYWHERE – wait, even OWNING scissors at all - when you have an 18 month-old whose even newer nickname is “Ollie Scissor Hands”.

And that, my friends, is a little view into my week.

*  Update on the photoblog today!

January 18, 2011

Quick & Easy: Baby Gift

Recently I attended a shower for a friend who’s having her first baby.  That first baby seems like ages ago for me!  But I still remember sitting at my first baby shower opening up gift after gift.  I held each gift in my hands with a slight amount of disbelief that in a few short weeks there would actually be a little person to fill the tiny outfits and wrap in the beautiful blankets! Now he’s a teenager who has to sleep diagonally to fit on his bed.  I think I’m ready for therapy.

Anyway, I wanted my gift to Kate and her new baby to be something heartfelt with a homemade touch.  So I picked out some fun {and funky} fabric and embellished a set of crisp, white long-sleeved onesies with ruffles, box pleats and a sweet little flower.

While I was at the fabric store, I also picked up a half yard of the snuggliest chenile I could find.  Using the same fabric from the onesies, I was able to make some coordinating burp cloths.

My sewing is not perfect.  My lines are not even very straight. I’m going with “it’s eclectic looking”.  But the gift is as one-of-a-kind as the mom and baby who will use them. The finishing touch was to make a tiny bracelet out of beads I keep on hand, because I believe little girls should start out with some pretty jewelry.

Thoughts On Building Others Up: Allison Kimball

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Have you ever known a woman existed, but not really known her?  And then you get to know her and find out she is so beautiful and inspiring that you regret not knowing her sooner? That is how I feel about Allison Kimball.

Allison and I are second cousins. Second cousins who have never actually spent any physical time together. But we are similar and I hope she doesn’t mind me saying this, I think we speak to each other’s hearts. She speaks to mine frequently with her intuitive writing, lovely photographs and remarkable creativity. I love to stalk her blog and soak up her goodness.

A recent post from Allison made my day.  The minute I read about it, I knew I had to spotlight her as a builder.  She had taken the time to individually thank and recognize some women who had helped her get through the Christmas holidays.  Just look at these sweet angels tied to a handwritten note:

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How many times have you had the thought in your head {and heart} to thank someone for helping you and done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT IT?  I have ignored that feeling to recognize another woman many times.  Allison did not ignore it – she did something about it!

There is something special about a written note from another woman that builds us up.  And so, with Allison in mind, today I’m challenging myself AND YOU to sit down and hand write a note to a woman {or women} who has been helpful to you in some way.

It doesn’t have to be a big way.  Maybe she commented on your new haircut.  Maybe she watched your kids for an hour so you could volunteer at the school. Maybe she taught a lesson at church that you needed to hear.  Maybe she met you for lunch.  Maybe she was your youth leader all the way back in high school. Maybe she is your mom’s best friend.  Just write her a note.  Tell her you appreciate her and let her know how great she is.

When I asked Allison her thoughts on building other women up, she had this to say:

I think in general we are too quick to judge, get upset and be offended. We don’t know the full story. We don’t know the secret agonies people are hiding. We don’t know the circumstances that people are placed in (sometimes not of their choosing). We see what we want to see and often it is wrong.

I love this quote by Henry B. Eyring (found here):

“When I was a young man, I served as a counselor to a wise district president in the Church. He tried to teach me. One of the things I remember wondering about was this advice he gave: ‘When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.’ I thought then that he was pessimistic. Now, more than 40 years later, I can see how well he understood the world and life.”

I have found this to be true over and over again. We don’t understand or know what another woman is enduring, but we can lift them up, help them feel loved and appreciated.

I’ll just add my Amen! to that.  Thank you Allison, for building me and other women up.  I’ve got a note to go write.  Who’s in?

PS. You can visit Allison here.  Her post today was right up my alley!

January 17, 2011

Price Comparison . . .

It’s Monday morning.  Time to wake up those brain cells.  I feel it’s my duty to help, so I’ve created a little math problem for you:

Which of these two cost more? 

A gallon of whole milk purchased at SuperTarget for Ollie?

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Or this outfit?

Would you believe me if I told you they cost the exact same amount?  I found this Ann Taylor Loft sweater {$1} and these Banana Republic trousers {$2.50} in almost brand new condition at the thrift store for $3.50 – about what I’d pay for Ollie’s milk at Target.  {Which is why I buy milk at Costco!}

Many thrift stores have discount days.  I just happened upon both of these pieces on a day when clothing was half off.  The trousers are a nice departure from my usual mom uniform of jeans and the sweater is such a delicate upgrade to my regular old cardigan.  I wore this to a baby shower luncheon this weekend and felt like  a million bucks – for only $3.50! Sweet.

  • Sweater – Loft
  • Trousers – Banana Republic
  • Shirt – J.Crew (gift)
  • Boots – Nine West (6 years old)

Join me tomorrow as I highlight a builder of women.

January 14, 2011

Third Time’s A Charm. . .

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Here we go again.

I’m ready to attempt another photoblog. See that great dragonfly on the right sidebar above my “Followers”? Just give it a click if you’re curious to see what my camera Edward and I are doing this year.  I’ll give you a hint: three pictures, three perspectives, same subject each week.  I hope you’ll take a look.

Also, I’m wondering what you do when you are so mad (yes, mad) at a really, really foolish stupid idiotic bad choice one of your children has made.  How do you quell your emotions while still showing your disappointment and frustration with the situation?

Help!

And happy Friday.

January 13, 2011

It’s A Good Thing Boots Are In Fashion…

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Because my boy is going to be wearing one for the next three weeks. Seriously though, isn’t it the cutest little boot you’ve EVER seen?  I’m trying to look for the positives here.  In other good news:

  • The break was not displaced in any way, so he’ll be back to normal pretty quickly.
  • We can take the boot off at night and to bathe our boy.
  • It was awkward at first, but Ollie is already running around in his boot like a pro.
  • He only cried once yesterday – during the x-rays.  I can’t blame him, there is a lot of big, creepy hospital equipment in there.
  • Everyone is doting on Ollie like crazy and he is just eating it all up.
  • The x-rays revealed that he does indeed have separate bones in his little twinner toes.  We are still set to do absolutely nothing about it. :)
  • The Hubby came up with a great idea for repurposing the file cabinet. More on that later.

Thank you for all your well wishes yesterday.  It is never easy to see your little ones hurting.  Your prayers and wishes carried us!

Now we’re going to chill at home, read some library books and heal.

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ps. Photos by the Queen.  Thanks, Mom, for being with us yesterday!

pps. Here’s a little video of Ollie workin’ the boot.

January 12, 2011

When Accidents Happen . . .

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Last night there was an accident in our house.

My sweet Ollie boy was fiddling around while I made dinner in the kitchen.  As I bent down to reach a pot on the bottom shelf of our island I heard a thunderous crash and then immediate terrified screaming. I jumped up to see my baby pinned under our huge filing console.

He had opened all three filing drawers at the same time and the weight of the files made the entire piece of furniture top heavy enough to topple over.  His sweet foot {the one with the twinner toes} was trapped.  I extricated him as quickly as possible, but the damage was already done.  He was hysterical.  His foot was blue and swelling. And I felt helpless.

We’ve spent the morning at the doctor’s office, the radiologist’s office and now we wait to see if we’ll also journey to the pediatric orthopedist’s office.

Ollie is happy this morning, albeit limping around not bearing weight on the injured foot. I am praising God that it wasn’t his head or torso that got pinned. And I am cursing a really stupid piece of furniture which now lies in pieces on the floor, never to be a filing cabinet again.  Good riddance.

***UPDATED TO READ:

The foot is fractured.  We are headed to a pediatric orthapedist in Maryland.  Such. Serious. Suckage.

January 11, 2011

How Twelve Little Drawers Saved My Relationship With My Daughter . . .

You are looking at a photograph of something that makes me truly happy. I am weird, I know.  But one week ago, this closet was a huge nightmare of hanging clothing tripping over itself in an effort to see the light of day and shelf space shoved tight with memory boxes, hand-me-downs and cast off stuffed animals. In essence, it was a freak show. 

Hannie B., you see, has one tiny dresser with three drawers into which she stuffs every last blasted thing she owns.  What doesn’t  fit in the dresser gets thrown on a hanger or on the closet floor to be forgotten by the girl or washed by the disgruntled mother even when it isn’t dirty.  Uncool.

Hannie’s closet was one long stretch of hanging rod with awkward dead space at either end – you know, that space to either side of the doors but behind the walls where things get lost.  We decided it was time to put that dead space to use. After a trip to Ikea with the Queen {I wish you could all do this at least once – she’s a riot} my girl now has twelve – YES! TWELVE! new drawers and six extra shelves. 

What on earth could a girl need so many drawers for, you ask?  Why, to contain her sock-scarf-underwear-tank top-pajama-tee shirt-slipper-shoe-sweats obsession, of course.  Then her three drawer dresser could be used for all the shirts and pants that used to crowd her closet, causing her closet floor to be seen again for the first time months, resulting in the proper alignment of the stars and elements, which in turn would affect the turning of the Earth on it’s axis, finally restoring balance in the world of her mother who swore she could not utter one more time, “Daughter, this closet is a pit of despair and doom!” {Cue birds singing now.}

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All is harmonious in the room of Hannie B. And I’m happy to report that since Saturday, it has been as neat and tidy as these pictures. 

Of course, it’s only been three days, but a mom can dream, right?

January 10, 2011

Thoughts On Being Bold . . .

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My bold scarf – thanks Susan!

I’m pretty excited, but totally not surprised, that so many of you were bold enough to add your name to my challenge for the year. Together we are going to build up other women and I’m pretty confident that we will have some awesome results! 

I consciously tried to do something each day after I wrote about the challenge that would build another woman up.  I sent an email of support, I spent a lunch in positive conversation with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, I complimented someone I ran into at church. It feels really great to build up other women!

Then yesterday, my mom was bold enough to call me out in the middle of a conversation I was having about a mutual friend, telling me to “be a builder”. She was right.  And I was wrong.  See, it’s a process!

I got this crazy bold zebra scarf for Christmas.  I wear it when I want to feel fearless.  I wore it when I typed the post about being builders. That was  me putting myself out there.  It’s not an easy thing to do. So thank you, again, for your comments and support.

I’ve got a busy week with the Hubby on a trip, baby sitting a friend’s kids, basketball practices, baby gifts to make, braces to tighten and a continuation of the bold gutting and dejunking of every room in the house. 

We finished Hannie B’s room this weekend, including a total overhaul of her closet with new built-ins.  I’ll cover that tomorrow.  It may or may not be a little weird how much an organized closet makes my day.

Happy Monday!  Go be bold!

January 5, 2011

We Can Be Builders . . .

Get ready – I’m in one of those deep thinking moods.

My boy Ollie is into blocks right now.  He pulls the basket of blocks out and puts it at my feet by the coffee table.  Then he says ‘Mama’ and points at the table, signaling me that it’s time to build.  With his chubby little hands he brings me blocks one by one and I add them to our tower.  The higher it gets, the more excited he gets. Some days he leaves the structure intact for the kids to see.  Other days he will let it fall so we can start all over again from the bottom.  It’s one of the great joys of my current life as a Mom.

But here’s the deal – I had a conversation with a friend recently wherein she revealed to me that the scrutiny of another woman was weighing her down greatly.  I wanted to tell her to not worry about it.  To put it out of her mind and get on with her life.  But I couldn’t for two reasons.

First, I had been in her shoes – the one on the receiving end of someone else’s judgment, scorn, jealousy, disapproval, etc. and I knew that just like her, I wasn’t able to shake off that horrible feeling that somebody else disliked me and the way I did things.

Second, I am ashamed to admit that on occasion I have been the one who’s dishing out the negativity, scrutiny, and harsh feelings towards other women. Why? Why do I do that?

I didn’t know what to tell my friend, so I said I was sorry and that I thought she was amazing. Meh.

As I sit and build blocks with Ollie and watch his happiness grow exponentially with the addition of each level, I think of this friend.  And I think of myself.  And I think of all of us who make up the wonderful world of women.

Why can’t we be builders?  Why can’t we raise each other up to higher levels? Why can’t we try, one block at a time, to surround other women with the kind of positive feelings that would exponentially increase their happiness?

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that many {most?} women already suffer in the self esteem department without scathing reviews from other women.  We beat ourselves up enough as it is. And though we are our own harshest critics, we are also the harshest critics of other women – including women we do not even know. It’s time to turn the tide and I feel strongly that I have to make some changes personally to help it happen.

So I’m going to issue you the same challenge I have issued myself.  Today I’m going to ask you to join me in being a builder.  Will you join me this year in trying to lift up other women? It sounds easy, doesn’t it? But I know it won’t be.

It means that we’ve got to decrease the amount of jealousy and envy we feel and replace it with genuine happiness for the good things that happen to other women. This {in my opinion} is one of the great secrets of life: when you have true joy for the successes of others, you get happiness in return.

It means that we’ve got to set aside judgment and remember that we haven’t worn the moccasins that other women wear. We do not know the sorrows and heartaches, trials and troubles that others have faced. Instead let’s search for sympathy and empathy. Let’s agree to look closely at the lives of other women to understand their needs and then try to meet them in some way.

It means that we have to hold our tongues instead of spewing negativity and gossip. Can you imagine the momentous change we could impart if only the women who read THIS BLOG vowed that they would NEVER speak a word of gossip about another woman again? In that idea alone lies immense power.

It means that we’ve got to come to terms with differences in others instead of criticizing them.  Hallelujah that we are not all the same! Celebrate it instead of shying away from it.  Get to know some women that have different interests than you. Give others the chance to get to know what makes you different and unique.

It means we’ve got to redefine what beautiful is.  We’ve got to stop paying attention to photo shopped pictures of women with personal stylists on magazine covers and start looking at the gorgeous REAL women who surround us every day. They are the ones who should inspire and intrigue us.

These are just a few small steps, but I think they can make a difference.

When Ollie’s tall tower of blocks comes tumbling down, he usually puts his hands on his cheeks and declares “Uh Oh!” There is usually a moment of fussing or crying before we clean up the mess and start to put it all back together.

There are women out there whose towers have fallen, knocked down by other women, or crumbling marriages, or children in trouble, or emotional, physical and mental pain. They are feeling that uh-oh feeling.  They may be crying and fussing.  And they need you and me to help them clean up the mess and put things back together.

Will you join me? Will you be a builder? If you are willing to accept my challenge, how about letting me know with a comment. Just think of it as adding a block to my tower today.

PS. Throughout the coming months I’d like to highlight how women are being builders of other women. I hope you’ll join me.

You Know It’s A New Year When . . .

this Dragonfly attacks her kitchen with reckless abandon. 

This is my dining room table after I gutted the kitchen and committed to getting rid of anything that was damaged, hadn’t been used or was missing the rest of its family. An inventory of the madness, if you will:

1. Plastic IKEA plates that are 7 years old and have weird baked-in, washed-in, never-coming-off grime on them. Oh, and a cutting board that is melted on one half.

2. Random cake pans that take up an enormous amount of space and have never been used.  Anybody want a brand spankin’ new Williams-Sonoma train cake pan?  Email me.

3. Jell-o molds I once bought at a garage sale thinking, “I’ll make beautiful ice rings out of them to put in punch.”  Problem is, I don’t own a punch bowl.  And people don’t really drink punch anymore.

4.  Six stemware glasses.  They are a close match to my crystal stemware, but have sat above the microwave for seven years collecting dust.  Buh-bye.

5. A collection of mismatched mugs.  The Queen gave me a set of white matching mugs this year, so these seem superfluous.

6. The sad remnants of three sets of drinking glasses – their siblings destroyed in one way or another by my children.

7. Random bowls.  I could keep them if I didn’t have twenty other bowls that I actually use.

8. Cute ice cream dishes.  These were a garage sale find.  I do like them.  The kids think they are awesome.  But we just haven’t used them.  There are six of us who love ice cream and only four dishes.  Want? Let me know.

9. Tea cups.  I love and use the plates that go with this set all the time.  But we are not tea drinkers. And tea cups are cumbersome to store.  There are eight of them. Up for grabs!

10. Saucers and mini loaf pans. Don’t use. Don’t need.  Amen.

11. Random yellow dishes.  The pasta bowls are from Pottery barn.  We’ve graduated to a set with six bowls. The other dishes are mismatched leftovers.

12. Snowflake bowls. These go with the set of dishes I like to pull out for everyday use at Christmas time.  I have never seen bowls this huge.  They’d take a half a box of cereal to fill.  You could use them for soup for two! I don’t know what do to with them. So I’m sayin’ sayonara sweetie.

I cannot tell you how liberating it was to clean the kitchen in this way.  I scrubbed down shelves and reorganized them with all the new space I’d created.  I vacuumed the toaster crumbs up.  I wiped off fingerprints and grime from the little people.

And now I’m going to move on to the dining room.  I will attack every room in this house until I have rid myself of the things I hang onto but do not use or need.  There are people out there who can use these things and do need them.

And seriously – If you live in my area and want ANY of these things before I take them to GoodWill, just give me a shout out {extra photos to entice you?}

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January 3, 2011

Family Theme 2011 . . .

For some time now there has been a level of discord in our home amongst the children that has left me feeling quite disheartened and disappointed. The quarreling, tattling, devious plotting, bullying and teasing has reached such a fever pitch that we can barely drive to church without blindfolding and gagging the kids so they don’t cast one crusty look or spew one nasty word in each other’s directions. It’s a bit ridiculous.

I want my children to enjoy being together.  I want them to feel like they have friends in their siblings.  I want them to know that they are safe in our house – safe from the negativity that is found everywhere else.  And currently, it just isn’t happening.

Enter our family theme for the year:

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We began by sharing an experience from the life of the Jesus Christ documented in the Gospel of Mark.  Jesus and his disciples are crossing the Sea of Galilee in a ship at night when a great storm arises. As Jesus sleeps the disciples worry for their safety. They awaken him with a plea for help. Jesus commands the sea “Peace, Be Still” and the storm ceases and the sea is made calm.

We asked our kids to imagine what it must have felt like to be a disciple on that ship during the storm – they answered with chaotic, frightening, unsafe, sad. Next we asked them to imagine what it was like when Jesus calmed the storm – they thought it would be calm, happy, safe and a relief.

Obviously, the comparison isn’t a hard one to make.  Our home is the ship.  The way we treat each other can either be a storm or a calm and those associated feelings the kids listed accompany the mood in our home.

After reading several scriptures we used ideas from God to create a plan that will bring peace back into our home. Because really, His ideas are perfect. {These ideas were found in a talk by M. Russell Ballard given in 2002} Here’s our plan:

1. Agree With Thine Adversary {Matt. 5:25}. Translation: Stop looking for reasons to fight with each other and look for more reasons to be agreeable.

2. Love Your Enemies {Matt. 5:44}. Translation: Be nice to your siblings even if they are not nice to you.  Have no excuses for your bad behavior just because you don’t like someone.

3. Judge Not {Matt. 7:1}. Translation: Do not try to be the mom or dad of this house.  You already have parents! Don’t tattle to us about what everyone else is doing wrong.

4. Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself {Matt. 22:39}. Translation: Think about the way you want to be treated {wait, you already do that}. Now treat others the way you want to be treated.

5. Condemn Not {Luke 6:37}. Translation: You don’t have the right to sentence or punish each other. You don’t get to physically, emotionally or verbally harm others.

6. Forgive {Luke 6:37}.Translation: We’re not going to be perfect at this.  We are going to make mistakes.  But if we’re understanding and forgive one another, we can continue to try to create a more peaceful home. Be willing to admit mistakes and apologize.  Be willing to forgive.

7. Love one another {John 13:34}. Translation: When we love others, it shows in the way we treat them. We want our house to be filled with love instead of anger.

So, there it is.  The kids seemed a little put off by the idea of having to work at being nicer to one another, but that was to be expected.  The Hubby and I are committed to making this home and family more peaceful. We want nothing more than to Be At Peace.

How about you? Do you have a family theme for the year?

Random Musings: New Year Edition . . .

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  • We’ve watched about fifty hours of home videos over the holiday break which has helped me realize two things: I say a whole lot of really stupid, annoying things and my Hubby has spent way too much time in the past thirteen years filming me from behind.
  • My first goal of the new year is to get off my butt and exercise.  It will not be hard to do after seeing said butt in fifty hours of video footage.
  • In twenty days my Hubby will turn 40.  I am looking for great birthday ideas for a man who doesn’t want hoopla.  Although why he wouldn’t is beyond me.  I just like saying it – hoopla.
  • We just finished watching season one of the BBC’s Sherlock Holmes show on DVD.  It is genius and you should watch it.  Seriously – genius. Did you know I secretly want to be British?
  • Big C got Axe body spray in his stocking for Christmas.  He just left me smelling pretty delish.  I am worried about what the girls at school may do to him.  Remember Polo cologne and Drakkar Noir? Yikes.
  • The Ollie boy hates nursery at church.  Never in the history of Lee children have we had a nursery hater.  I don’t really know what to do.  Ideas? Maybe if nursery were a drawer filled with kitchen gadgets, he would like it better?
  • Tonight during Family Home Evening we will unveil our family theme for the year.  Remember last year we did this? I’ve been thinking about this year’s theme since about October.  It is very appropriate and needed. 
  • We got some sad news over the holidays.  One of Big C’s buddies/teammates was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer.  He begins his chemotherapy today.  Say a little prayer for Chris Cicalese.
  • I hope you had a great, safe New Year’s Eve and are off and running already in 2011.